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Saturday, 4 June 2011

Listography... 5 Decisions I'm Glad I Made

I do sometimes wonder if my life has been a series of events that were always destined to happen.  My journey seems to have been decided for me and I've walked the path willingly, knowing that the ultimate destination was the place that I always needed to be!

Kate has challenged us to come up with five decisions that we are glad we made...so I'm going to take some credit for taking the forks in the road that have lead me to where I am today.

1: Keeping My Son

When I was pregnant and single, it was suggested by people close to me that I had an abortion.  I even had a clinic recommended to me.  I would have been able to go to university, brush my past under the carpet and start a new life away from the waste of space who was my now ex-boyfriend.  At the Family Planning Clinic when my pregnancy was confirmed, the nurse went straight for the abortion option speech.  I will never forget her writing "will not consider abortion" in big letters across my medical notes when I stated emphatically that I wanted to keep my baby.  She seemed disappointed!  Perhaps she was on commission?  I may have been a young, vulnerable, single teenager ...but I knew that this baby, my Joe, was my destiny!

baby

2: Being Brave Enough to go it Alone

Being 21 and finding myself pregnant with baby number 2, could have made me prepared to settle for the relationship I had found myself in.  I had a partner and a roof over my head and I'm sure I could have done what I needed to do to make it work if I had tried (or given in and accepted my lot).  But instead, I had the guts to find myself a flat to rent and start again on my own when I was 6 months pregnant.  I would never have been happy living like I had been, and my children would not have had a good life had I stayed.  I would have had to compromise who I was and what I wanted.  It was not the easy option to go...but it was the right one.  I don't regret anything though, because I wouldn't be without my daughter Megan for the world.  Another good decision!


3: Ian

Being brave enough to risk a fantastic friendship and making Ian my other half was a tremendous decision.  He has helped me to be the best version of myself I could be.  We've had another three gorgeous children to add to the two beautiful ones we already had.

Recently when we tidied out our garage I unearthed a box filled with cards and letters I had sent to Ian over the years.  From the age of sixteen, when Ian left school, to when we got together at twenty-three, I had regularly written to him.  He had kept every single one.  We were so meant to be together!!  Writing those letters and never letting our relationship fade away was a great decision...because as soon as the time was right we didn't hesitate!

man

4:  Moving to Shropshire


We lived in a Housing Association flat in Hampshire.  It wasn't a great area to live and I worried about the future of our children.  My sister had just moved to a lovely house in the country and we saw the possibility of a much better lifestyle.  Ian wasn't on a big wage but we worked out we could just about afford a house of our own if we scrimped and saved.  It also meant that Ian had to carry on working down south while we relocated to Shropshire.  We found a lovely three bed semi with a garden for less than it would have cost us to buy the flat we lived in!  As Ian worked shifts, he lived three days with us, returning to work for a further three days and so on.  We only had one car so my sister helped me with school runs and shopping trips when Ian was away.  Eventually Ian found a better paying job nearer to our new house and he came home.  Everything fell into place.  We now have a 4 bedroomed detached house and I count myself extremely lucky!!  All thanks to our decision to become Salopians!!

house

5: Starting My Blog


I've loved being a wife and a mother, but I've always felt that I needed an outlet for myself.  I've taken courses, done extra A'Levels, volunteered at my kids' schools around the children once they started nursery.  But it was starting my blog last year that has really fulfilled that part of me that has wanted something for myself (without compromising the time spent with Freddy).

I've met some great people, I've done things I would never have dreamt of doing (interviewing Ken Barlow??!!), I've been to some amazing places and I've had unbelievable opportunities!  My personal confidence has grown immensely.  I've met some fellow bloggers already this year and can't wait to meet up with so many others at Cybermummy!  I've had some brilliant products sent to me for review and I'm about to start my Toyology adventure. I've 'met' the lovely #mumentum ladies who are helping me with my weightloss efforts by offering support and encouragement.  Blogging has changed my life quite literally!  What a great decision to click that "create blog" button on Blogger!!

Inside the Wendy House

19 comments:

  1. So nice to read the things that shaped your life. a lovely post. x

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  2. That's such a powerful list.

    Thank you for sharing so honestly and for stopping by at my blog.

    SSG xxx

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  3. Great post and has made me think of decisions I've made in the past that has put me where I am today. Really interesting post x

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  4. Louise @ Bloggomy5 June 2011 at 00:03

    Love that photo of Ian. Thanks for become a Salopian - because of you I became one to as you know and yes number 5 was down to you as well - you have a lot to answer for :) xx

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  5. Absolutely love this Wendy. No. 1 makes me sad as I wonder how many vulnerable girls just followed the adults lead and ended up regretting it. Your first 2 make me think of that saying 'Fortune favours the brave'. Plus I can see why your 16 year old self was writing letters to himself! Thanks for joining in!

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  6. wow and you said that I had made brave decisions in my life! The decisions you have made have been way braver than any I have had to make. I totally admire your courage to go it alone and make sure you are not in a relationship for the wrong reason. I found your post very moving and am glad things are working out for you and your family

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  7. Thanks Kate...I love how your Listography lets me purge!! Therapy through blogging!! XXX

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  8. Lots of really brave decisions here and so glad they all worked out so well x

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  9. Fussy Eater's Mum5 June 2011 at 12:44

    I love the story about the letters. That is the loveliest thing I've read in ages! Good decision to make him yours!

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  10. Gemma @ My big nutshell5 June 2011 at 13:05

    Reading everyone's Listography responses has me overwhelmed by the tremendous courage and self belief people have, even in the face of immense pressure. I truly loved your honesty in your listography. I'm all teary!

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  11. Mummyandthebeastie5 June 2011 at 13:58

    I knew before I read this that it would include some very brave decisions. To leave a relationship that isn't right takes tremendous courage and it led you to where you are now. I have read your love story as I have said before so I knew this would be included. You sound so very lucky and happy with your life :-) x

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  12. jessies_online5 June 2011 at 15:32

    You have led an amazing life Wendy & you must be a whole lot stronger for it, how sweet of Ian to have kept all those letters that you wrote him, definitely meant to be!
    x

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  13. Reluctant Housedad5 June 2011 at 16:17

    Your first decision knocked me for six. So moving. You sound like an incredibly strong person tohave done all you've done. Full of admiration.

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  14. The meandering path that has delivered you to where you are today. Brave choices make you stronger and you are stronger than you think. Love you Wendy.XXX

    P.S. Of course I kept the letters.

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  15. Wow! What a wonderful post.
    I find it fascinating reading and finding out about people and the decisions in life that turn them into the people that they are.

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  16. How awesome.

    Everything happens for a reason :) x

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  17. I have just read your blog with great interest - fate always meant you and Ian to be together - you are so right together and anybody who has the good fortune to be in the company of you both can see the deep love you share. I count myself very lucky to have such a brilliant son-in-law and will always be grateful that my lovely daughter has such a wonderful husband and family.

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