Thursday, 17 November 2011

Paraprodokian Sentences

Definition:  A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. 
I was sent a whole load of these little gems of amusement from my lovely sister in law and thought I'd share them. Enjoy :)
  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.   
  • Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.  
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.  
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   
  • If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.   
  • We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.      
  • War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.   
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.   
  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 
  • Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.   
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.    
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station. 
  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.   
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.   
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are  sexy. 
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.   
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it  back. 
  • Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.   
  • Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they  go.   
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.   
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 
  • You're never too old to learn something stupid.
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 
#NabBloPoMo Day 17


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