Monday, 27 February 2012

When My Husband's Away....

This week Ian is away on business.  He left at the weekend and will be returning next Friday night.  He is only a couple of hundred miles away staying in Windsor, near to where we used to live.  But he may as well be on the other side of the world.

When we first moved to Shropshire, Ian still worked down south.  His shifts were four days on, four days off so he stayed with my parents when he was working, and drove home after his last shift to spend his days off with us.  It was a gruelling lifestyle for him, especially as he alternated between day shifts and night shifts and his body clock didn't have a clue whether it was day time or night time.  He often fell asleep on the kitchen table in the middle of his dinner.  Those were difficult days for us all and I'm glad to see the back of them.

Since then things have improved.  His current job is in Birmingham which is 60 miles away from here and so is a commutable distance.  He is however on call 24 hours a day which means he can get home after a slow drive up the M6 and be called straight back in again to fix a broken computer.  It's sometimes really frustrating, but it is why he is paid so well so we can't complain.

This week he is on a course which will diversify his role, making him (hopefully) more useful to the company which is always a big plus in times of redundancies and cutbacks. It is great that they are still investing in him and giving him the kind of career progression he wants.  But, how I hate him being away!

I feel like such a fraud.  Millions of women cope with husbands that work away day in and day out.  I seriously don't think I could handle that.  I admire the strength of military wives raising a family while their husbands fight for their country.   When Ian's away I feel like part of me is missing.  We are such an old married couple, that I sometimes think we have just merged into one.

When it comes to division of labour, Ian does so much of the housework and childcare that I am spoilt!  When he isn't here however, I become much more dynamic and less lazy more efficient.  I think it's because I am at heart a control freak so if I don't do it 100% myself, I prefer to simply delegate the whole job responsibility to someone else.  Ian's attempts at 'helping' over the years have landed him a whole load of personal chores.  In his absence, I do everything with gusto and in my own way, which is actually quite satisfying.  Plus, it's good for me to have to step away from the laptop and do some housework!

But I do miss my right hand man.  I miss his hugs.  I miss him making me cups of coffee.  I miss his wake-up call in the morning.  I miss him being there for a chat.  I miss him helping look after Freddy and the girls.  I miss him taxi-ing the kids around. I miss my best friend.  However, the one thing that I totally do not miss at all is his snoring!!  So it's not all bad ;)

Me and My Man x


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