Eat Your Heart Out Chocolate Cake Recipe #evenbetterbaking

Chocolate cake is one of life's little pleasures.  There is not many things to rival a piece of rich, moist, chocolate cake topped with an indulgent frosting.  So when Dr.Oetker challenged me to try a new chocolatey bake, I decided to make a heart shaped chocolate cake, perfect to share with my lovely husband (and the kiddies too of course!)  We missed our Valentine's celebrations this year as Freddy was very poorly, so by making a gloriously romantic chocolate heart cake, Ian and I will get to have a belated celebration.  Chocolate always tastes better if it's shared with the one you love!

The recipe I chose, Eat Your Heart Out Chocolate Cake, is from the Dr.Oetker's website, where you can find lots of baking inspiration for chocolate cakes and bakes.

I received a parcel of Dr.Oetker's delicious cooking chocolate and edible decorations to use in my bake.  The range makes cooking with chocolate so easy, and with a variety of different products from white chocolate to 90% extra dark chocolate, there is something for all tastes.  The chocolate melts so well whether you chose to use a microwave or to melt it in a bowl over a pan of simmering water.

Eat Your Heart Out Chocolate Cake Recipe

Cake Ingredients

50g Dr.Oetker Fine Cooks' 72% Extra Dark Chocolate

115g butter

225g dark brown sugar

2 eggs

150ml set yogurt

200g SR flour

25g Dr.Oetker cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Frosting Ingredients

85g Dr.Oetker Fine Cooks' 72% Extra Dark Chocolate

115g butter

175g icing sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Decorations

Dr.Oetker milk and white Chocolate Hearts

Dr.Oetker Silver Pearls

a dusting of cocoa powder

Method

Preheat oven to gas mark 4 / 180 degrees C

Melt the Fine Cooks' Chocolate (I used the microwave on a medium setting but you could melt it in a bowl over simmering water).

Using an electric mixer beat the butter and sugar.

Mix eggs and yogurt together and add to mixture along with other ingredients including melted chocolate.

Beat for 2 minutes.

Place into a 10 inch heart shaped prepared tin (I used a silicone mould with Cake Release).

Cook for 40 - 45 minutes until cake is risen and springs back to touch.

Leave to cool for 15 minutes then turn onto cake rack.

To make frosting melt the chocolate.

Beat together the icing sugar and butter.

Add vanilla extract and melted chocolate and beat until smooth.

Spread over cake and around edges.

Dust lightly with sieved cocoa powder.

Decorate using Dr.Oetker's milk and white Chocolate Hearts and Silver Pearls.

Throughout March, Dr.Oetker wants to celebrate all things chocolatey and is running a competition on Twitter to encourage everyone to have a go at baking their own yummy chocolate cakes and bakes.

To enter, simply Tweet @DrOetkerbakes a photo of a chocolate bake you've made and tell them who you will be sharing it with using the hashtag #evenbetterbaking. You could win a deluxe hamper of Dr.Oetker chocolate products!  

You could try the Eat Your Heart Out Chocolate recipe that I made or one of the other delicious chocolate recipes at www.oetker.co.uk.

Christmas Memories of my Nan

During my life, I have enjoyed 45 Christmases (26 of them as a mother to my own children). I have so many fond memories of my own childhood. I remember shouting down to my mum over and over again on Christmas Eve once I'd gone to bed, asking how long until morning.  Finally getting to sleep and waking up to a stocking containing a satsuma and some chocolate, at the end of my bed. Running down the stairs and finding three piles of presents in the living room for my two sisters and I (as the youngest my pile was always the biggest!!)  Opening the pressies in a flurry of excitement while my dad prepared the Brussels Sprout in the kitchen, wearing a wooly hat and drinking rum and coke from a pint glass. I vividly recall watching Top of the Pops and eating Christmas dinner on the big table that took up all of the living room's floor space.  (I also remember the year that I set fire to my Christmas cracker at the dining table when my sisters and I were messing around with a candle - oops!)

We'd sometimes have Christmas tea at my grandparents' house where we'd eat cucumber served in vinegar and sandwiches made with that ham that has orange jelly around it. Nan always put on the same spread with everything arranged in little china bowls on the kitchen table.

My Nan Peck was a pretty incredible lady who loved any excuse for a party. She was always first up on any dance floor, earning her the title of 'disco granny'. Christmas was a very special time for her because she got married to my Grandad on Christmas Day and would tell the story of their wedding day every year, remembering the roses that grew in the churchyard. We'll never know how accurate her memories were, but the story was full of colour, beauty and love, and however many times we heard it, the details did not alter and it always felt like we were hearing it for the first time.

She adored her family and once she became a great grandma to all of her many great grandchildren, she loved to indulge them at Christmastime by buying each and every one of them a bag containing five presents each, which she'd hand out in age order to the kids who waited in line to receive them and to get a big kiss from her.  She'd buy gifts all year round, storing them in a cupboard that we nicknamed Aladdin's Cave. Aladdin's Cave was so full of toys that as the kids got older, some of the gifts would not be age appropriate. My teens recall receiving toys meant for much younger kids but not once did they complain, accepting their presents graciously with a smile.  We all loved her so much!

After my Grandad died, my Nan spent many Christmases with my parents at my childhood home. These times hold some of my favourite childhood memories.

One absolutely wonderful moment that will forever live on in my memory is the year that my Nan played charades with us.  She loved her party games and charades was up there as her favourite because it gave her a moment in the spotlight. On this particular year, Nan had many moments in the spotlight. Fuelled by a couple of sherries, my wonderful Nan took to the floor to act out the names of the TV shows popular at the time. From crawling across the floor with her tongue hanging out and panting as she acted out 'Survival' to gesticulating wildly through the living room window towards the garden to act out 'Crossroads', not one of us had a clue what she was doing!  Unperturbed, she continued with even greater enthusiasm jumping around the room with such purpose and determination to get us to guess the TV shows from her clues.  When we failed to guess her charades, she'd announce that she had therefore won that round before starting straight on to the next one. It was such a funny game when done my Nan's way!!

As a young teenager, I found her antics so endearing and so hilarious. We were all laughing so hard, and sharing this joy together as a family was just perfect. I am so glad that I had been given a new camera for my Christmas present as it allowed me to snap away.  These photographs of my lovely old Nan doing what she did best are absolutely treasured records of some wonderful memories that saw my whole family united in love and laughter.

Of course, being a lady in your 70s and playing hardcore charades solidly for hours is a very tiring business and it wasn't long until Nan retired to her favourite chair to have a well deserved Christmas snooze.  This is another photo that I am so glad to have taken, showing Nan asleep in the armchair with my cat Hairbear asleep at her feet.

We lost my Nan at the ripe old age of 98, six years ago and we miss her so much, especially at Christmastime. But she has taught me to live life to the full and to enjoy everyday.  The memories I have from my childhood, made me determined to give my own children as many joyous family memories of their own and I have spent the last 26 years giving my kids the best Christmases I could manage.  I hope that in the future they will be able to look back on their own childhood Christmases with as much fondness as I look back at my own, and they will treasure the moments that they get to spend with their own grandparents.  

Merry Christmas! This post is my entry into the Tots100/Little Tikes 12 Days of Christmas competition.

Embrace Every Moment With Your Children #PowerofSoft

From the very moment that your newborn infant is lifted onto your chest in the delivery room, the feel of your child's soft, warm skin against yours, pushes aside all memories of the pain and discomfort of labour.  A cuddle is such a beautiful and magical thing.

Those early days with a baby are wonderful but exhaustingly hard.  Sleepless nights create a tiredness that consumes you mentally and physically, but holding your child in your arms makes it all worthwhile, even at 3am. Snuggling them close and breathing in the scent of your newborn is the perfect reward for the seemingly endless rounds of feeding, changing, burping, bathing and washing that comes with early motherhood. I'll never forget those super soft early cuddles that saw me through those long days of being a new mum.

And as our children grow up, the power of precious cuddles need not diminish.  Clumsy toddler hugs, with chubby arms around your neck and sloppy kisses planted on your face are simply perfect.  Sat together on the sofa, cuddled up watching Peppa Pig is a wonderful way to enjoy some closeness with an otherwise boisterous pre-schooler.  These hugs are all utterly priceless and each and everyone of these beautiful moments can be treasured for a lifetime.  Memories of soft skin and love-filled hugs can see you through even the darkest times.  Sharing that closeness and knowing that you love and are loved in equal measure is, for me, what family is all about.

The time spent with little ones flies by so quickly.  The moments between them being completely dependent on you for their every need to them becoming little people in their own right are fleeting. You can never get back that time, but you can embrace those precious moments and never stop letting your children know just how much they are loved.  However busy you are, you can always find time for a hug.

I have been blessed with five wonderful children and have enjoyed a lifetime of cuddles from each and every one of them.  Freddy is my youngest and my last born child, and I treasure the cuddles he gives me. Now he is at school, the time I spend with him has lessened, but he always gets a kiss and a hug as I say good-bye to him in the classroom. If he wakes up in the night and creeps into bed with us, I enjoy snuggling him up against me, feeling his warmth as he cuddles close.  One day, he won't need to seek out the comfort of mummy and daddy's bed when he wakes up, but while he does, there will always be a place for him between us.

Being close to all of my children, even the grown-up ones, is part of who we are.  We still hug, we still snuggle up to watch a film together, we still enjoy the closeness of a cuddle.  It's no surprise that we enjoy a loving relationship with each other, because even now I still love a cuddle with my own parents and never fail to jump up to give them a hug when I see them.  I love to embrace every moment and let my loved ones know just how treasured they are and just how special a place they hold in my heart.

With my third child, Ella about to fly the nest, I know only too well that our children are ours alone for a very short time.  As they spread their wings and fly, I look at my children with such utter pride and I know that they feel utterly and unconditionally loved, giving them the strength and confidence that they need to forge their own paths in the big wide world.  And I know that however old they are, they will always be hugged and cuddled whenever I see them!  For me, cuddles are not reserved for the littlest members of the family, they are for everyone.

***

After listening to mums across the UK Fairy Non Bio has discovered that parents hold their children's pre-school moments as some of their most treasured memories.  25% of mums confessed to missing their child's super soft kisses and cuddles after they start school, so Fairy want to remind us to give our kids an extra big cuddle today!

Fairy Non-Bio are encouraging mums to embrace the Power of Soft and to make the most of every special moment with this moving video entitled "The Softest They'll Ever Be".


           

www.softeningyourworld.com/fairy-non-bio

I have been recompensed for this post but I have retained full editorial integrity.

Tasty Taco Sandwich Recipe #crispsarnieweek

Tots 100 and Seabrook Crisps have been celebrating National Sarnie Week by challenging bloggers to invent their own recipe for a sandwich featuring crisps!

So, I've been putting on my thinking cap in order to come up with my own idea, which incorporates Seabrook crips.  Although I'm vegetarian, I must confess to enjoying steak flavoured crisps.  Given that many meaty crisps are actually 100% veggie friendly, I can enjoy the savoury taste without compromising on my beliefs.  Seabrook Crinkle Cut Beefy Crisps are one such vegetarian friendly variety, and it is this meaty taste and crunchy texture that inspired me to invent the Tasty Taco Sandwich!!  A easy to make, vegetarian take on a Mexican favourite.

Taco Sandwich Ingredients

(makes one sarnie)

2 slices of bread

half a small tin of spicy refried beans

teaspoon of chilli jam or relish

handful of grated cheese

half a bag of Seabrook Beefy Crisps

Spread the refried beans straight onto one of the slices of bread.

Spread the spicy relish onto the other piece of bread. 

Grate the cheese onto the beans.

Put half a bag of Seabrook Beefy Crisps on top of the grated cheese.

Put the other piece on top and cut in half diagonally (is it just me, or do diagonally cut sandwiches just taste so much better??)

Enjoy the textures and tastes of a delicious Mexican taco!  You have the succulent and seasoned refried beans, the spicy kick of the chilli relish, the comforting flavour of Cheddar cheese and the meatiness of the Beefy crisps along with their taco like crunchy texture.  It worked really 

Even though I say so myself, it was genius...and much easier to eat than a regular taco!  The refried beans make a really delicious veggie pate.  I'll definitely use them as a sandwich filling in the future.

This recipe is an entry into the National Crisp Sarnie Week competition with Seabrook crisps.

An Open Letter to the Internet - My Biggest Online Fear

Dear Internet,

You and I have had a very healthy and happy relationship for years.  You entertain me.  You make my life easier and more interesting.  You are always there when I need you; reliable, accessible and reassuring. You are a wise friend and an expert that I look up to when I need advice.  Through you I have found many friends and discovered some wonderful and inspiring ideas to enrich my life.  You give me a creative outlet and gave me a new lease of life when I needed it most.

I want too for my children to enjoy the wonderful resource that is the online world.  I want them to be free to play, chat, read, watch videos and run through the myriad paths of knowledge and discovery with joyful abandon.  But sadly I know there is danger lurking out there.  These dangers are my biggest fear.

Because, dear internet, you have a dark side.  A side that terrifies me.  And when it reared its ugly head I felt powerless and horrified by its emergence as it run amok in our life.

You see I have a daughter.  A beautiful, intelligent, talented, amazing daughter.  But a daughter who has become a little bit broken because of you. A daughter who has suffered at your hands, or moreover at the hands of those who use you to to abuse, bully and destroy others.

A daughter whose vulnerability was exploited through the use of cruel words, insults and instructions on how she should kill herself, which wormed their way into her psyche.  Messages sent by weak, cowardly people intent to cause maximum pain and suffering. With the ease of anonymity and the ability to do and say things that they would never have the courage to say face to face, they were able to chip away at my daughter's confidence with no thought of the consequences. Begging them to stop only served to fuel their venom, as they descended like a pack of hyenas waiting for the kill.  Exploiting weakness and breaking down defences with words meant to hurt.  Cruel, cutting words typed anonymously on a keyboard by pathetic perpetrators who hid behind an anonymous facade to attack her for whatever sick and twisted reason it was that motivated them.

Thankfully she survived.  She weathered the storm and came through the other side. She had support. She found the courage. It stopped. We moved on and put this episode behind us. But you never forget.  She didn't come out unscathed.  She was hurt. Violated by their hatefulness.  The scars on her wrists will be a constant reminder to her.  And to me.

So dear internet, although I love you, I wish you had the power to prevent these anonymous bullies from having the unencumbered freedom to hurt others because they are somehow different to them or are a threat to their own insecurities.  Virtual bullying. Cyber bullying.  It's no less dangerous, no less damaging than any other form of mental abuse.  Just ask the families with children who didn't come through the other side. Those who didn't have the support to get through it.  Just ask those that mourn teen suicide victims. Those kids that were psychologically beaten down and forced into doing the unthinkable as their only way of escape.

We can try to equip our children with the emotional tools to deal with this kind of violation. But sometimes, despite our best efforts, it manages to worm its way into a child's mind, paralysing them with shame and degradation.  Hitting a nerve that makes them powerless to stop it.  With the wisdom of age, we know that victims could easily disconnect their wi-fi, switch off their phones and turn their back on the source of their pain.  But many vulnerable youngsters have their own deep inner insecurities stoked and can't simply walk away.  The hate directed towards them reflects the self-loathing that grows from the constant belittling and berating they suffer online. They cannot separate the two. It's a form of self-harm to suffer at the bullies' hands. It's a vicious circle.  A cycle with potentially fatal consequences.

This dark side is my biggest internet fear. I fear it because I have seen it. The helplessness. The relentlessness. The violation. I fear it because it just too easy for the trolls and the bullies to execute their cowardly attacks from their virtual hideaways, ruining lives and invading the personal space of their vulnerable victims without a second thought.  Tearing down confidence, shattering trust and trampling over the remaining fragile sense of self, from the comfort of their own bedrooms armed with only a keyboard and a frightening lack of empathy or humanity.

Anyone, anywhere can become a victim.  The next prey.  And it can escalate fast.  And it is utterly merciless. I may fear it, but it has made me more vigilant. Stronger.  More aware. Ready to react if ever again I recognise the signs. I just hope and pray that I never, ever have to see it again.


Yours,

Wendy





“This post is my entry into the Check and Secure challenge. For more advice on family safety online, see Mums on Security.”

A Perfect Day at Center Parcs

Center Parcs have a new advertising campaign featuring real life families enjoying Center Parcs their way: Your Family, Your Time.  Featuring families with little ones; families with three generations holidaying together; families with children of mixed ages (the video that inspired me the most) and a group of families that holiday together, it is lovely to see how Center Parcs allows every family to spend quality time together doing things their way.

              

So what if I was given the chance to spend the perfect day at Center Parcs?  How would I spend my time with my family?  Moments spent together are priceless to me. As my eldest children grow up and start their own lives, I am constantly reminded of just how special time spent as a family is. Being somewhere where we can make the very most of that time really would be amazing.  Making memories that will last a lifetime and giving my children the chance to enjoy family life to the fullest.

This is what my perfect day would look like....

From the moment I awaken and open the curtains, it is the beautiful woodland setting that puts me in the holiday mood.  Being surrounded by nature has such a magical quality, making you feel like you are a million miles away from the stresses of real life.  Breakfast on the patio is a must.  Visitors in the shape of swans, ducks and sometimes even squirrels, tentatively approach us hoping to share in some scraps from the table.  We breathe in the clean, fresh air and feel more invigorated than we have in a long time.  Who can resist an early morning wander into the woods?  The little ones find sticks, feathers and rocks - treasures from their travels.  The wildlife is admired as we spot birds, bugs and animals along the way.  The beauty of the flowers and trees is appreciated as we brush past the soft leaves and clamber over fallen logs.  This is the perfect way to start the day.

Enjoying the Great Outdoors

Taking part in some of the many activities on offer onsite gives us all the chance to try something that we wouldn't normally get the opportunity to do.  Sharing new experiences is a great way to connect with the children, leading to enthusiastic chatter for weeks afterwards and usually a great deal of laughter at the time. 

 We'd get on our bikes and cycle to one of the locations where we could enjoy a couple of hours of something completely new!  Quad Biking is an adrenaline fuelled activity for dad and the older kids, while a gentle horse ride around the parc is a perfect way for myself and the little ones to take in the sights and the sounds.

Getting together afterwards for a Family Bowling Competition gets everyone in a competitive mood!  As we laugh at the 'gutter balls' and applaud the strikes we enjoy a hot chocolate to keep us going until lunchtime.

Trying Something New

A visit to the Subtropical Swimming Paradise is a must.  Even though everyone has a different level of water confidence and ability, we can all enjoy the waves, water playgrounds and whirlpools. The braver ones will ride the rapids and zoom down the flumes!  I'd love to hire a cabana where we could relax and enjoy the comfy seating, a light lunch and complimentary drinks.  The kids could continue to play to their heart's content in the idyllic paradise setting, whilst I relax with a good book!

The outdoor play areas make a fun stopping point on the cycle ride back to the lodge.  A moment to climb, slide, jump, swing, see-saw and spin on a variety of fun play equipment brings out the child in all of us!  You are never to old to let down your hair and have some pure, unabashed fun with the little ones. 

Unleash Your Inner Child and Play, Play, Play!

When it comes to a short break, I thoroughly enjoy eating out.  No need for anyone to cook or wash up!  Plus it's an excuse to get dressed up, do our hair and feel really good about ourselves. At Center Parcs' American Diner, Hucks, we would enjoy a fantastic meal, ordering a selection of veggie dishes from the menu and trying some of their fancy cocktails, whilst overlooking the beautiful lake as the sun begins to set on a perfect day.  There is no need to count calories after all the exercise we've had throughout the day, so the huge pudding we share comes guilt free!

Dress Up and Dine Out in Style

A slow walk back to our lodge allows us to enjoy the beauty of the woods and the lake as night falls. It is so much stiller and calmer by night.  Our comfy, cosy lodge awaits us, where we get into our PJ's and snuggle up with a hot drink and reminisce about all the things we have done.  My littlest two will fall soundly asleep and be carried to their beds.  The oldest children will share a bottle of wine with their dad and I as we discuss our plans for tomorrow.  Aqua Sana?  More swimming?  Aerial Walk? Maybe we'll take in a show and enjoy some live music?  An Indian meal in Rajinder Pradesh? As long as we are doing it as a family I know it will be fabulous. Because nothing feels better than family together!

Family Moments Spent Together

I'd fall asleep in my bed, replaying all the special moments from my day in my head.  Listening to the sound of silence and feeling wonderfully content.  A perfect day indeed!

‘This is my entry to the Center Parcs and Tots 100 January challenge. If I’m chosen, I would like to visit Whinfell Forest.'

My Perfect Christmas Day

Christmas Past

I cannot tell you about my perfect Christmas Day without first of all thinking about Christmases past.  As a little girl I remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve shouting down to my mum every five minutes asking how many hours it was till Christmas Day.  In the morning I'd have a stocking at the end of my bed which had some chocolate and a satsuma in it.  Downstairs there were three piles of presents for my two sisters and I. As the youngest of three, my pile was always the biggest.  I remember Plasticine, a Girl's World, a toy broom, a Sindy doll, an Intellivision console and a Humpty Dumpty among my gifts over the years.

My dad used to prepare the vegetables for Christmas dinner in the kitchen whilst wearing a Christmas hat and my mum would potter around in her pinny calculating the cooking time for our turkey.  The hallway would be filled with festive chocolates and rows of bottles containing booze or pop.  I'd always be allowed a weak port and lemonade to celebrate.  The tinsel Christmas tree sat on top of our TV which was tuned in for the Top of the Pops Christmas special and my sisters and I would sing and dance along with Pan's People!

I have so many memories of childhood Christmases, some good (my dad bringing a black sack for me to tidy up the wrapping paper, which in reality contained a gift I really wanted but thought Santa hadn't brought me) and some bad (accidentally setting my Christmas cracker on fire by holding it over a candle and getting a right good telling off for it!)  But whether good or bad, they are memories that have shaped me into who I am today. 

Since becoming a mum, I have spent the last 25 years trying to give my children memories that they can take with them through life, look back on with a smile and learn from.  With festive family traditions, a focus on the emotional over the material and a sense of humour in the face of things going wrong, I hope I have taught my kids what is important in life.  The things that truly matter.

Christmas Present

For me, Christmas Day involves being surrounded by my family.  With my nest filled with all of my five chicks, I am at my happiest.  It might be chaotic, it will definitely be noisy and things may not go to plan. But seriously, if there is laughter and love nothing else really matters.  With my best friend and husband by my side and my five children and my grandson having fun, I am in my element.  

When the kids wake up in the morning they grab their stockings and come into my bed.  Thank goodness it's a kingsize!  They take it in turns opening their stocking presents oohing and ahhing over each and every little thing.  From the oldest to the youngest they love this moment of togetherness and sharing and it sets the tone for the day ahead.

We have a leisurely breakfast together before opening the main presents. After every present is unwrapped we think about who gave it to us and what thought has gone into it.  We send some love through the ether to our loved ones who have taken the time and trouble to send us gifts.

We also remember our loved ones who are no longer with us.  We think of them with a smile and talk about the good times we had.  My lovely Nan and my sister Carol are never far from my mind.  I miss them so much, but taking a moment to remember makes them a part of our special day and they feel so close.

The afternoon is spent watching any DVDs or playing games together, until it's time to sit down to a veggie Christmas feast.  The rest of the day is set aside for some family fun, silly challenges (often involving food!) and memory making.

Christmas Yet To Come 2013

So what is my perfect Christmas Day?  Being awoken on Christmas morning by Brad Pitt bearing nothing but a champagne breakfast and a wry smile?  Sitting on a beach in some far flung corner of the world with the sun kissing my skin and the crystal blue water lapping at my toes?   Being lavished with expensive gifts from Tiffany's? No.

So, what will be my ideal way to spend this coming Christmas?  

That's easy - having four generations of my family under one roof, from my 1 year old grandson Ted to my 81 year old dad, all enjoying every moment of being together and having fun.  Twelve of my favourite people altogether on this special day.  Perfect.

The formula might be the same.  The chaos will undoubtedly ensue.  But the feelings of love, fun, family and laughter will hopefully create an atmosphere of joy that everyone will remember for years to come.

If everyone, from the youngest to the oldest are happy, well fed and entertained I will have done my job.  If everyone looks back and remembers just how loved and cherished they felt, then this year will have been the perfect Christmas Day!

However you spend your day, may Christmas Day 2013 be absolutely perfect for you!

”Merry Christmas! This post is my entry into the Tots100/Argos 12 Days of Christmas competition.“

Why I Love My Washing Machine

Back in the late 1950's, when my parents were newly weds they moved in to a caravan to begin their married life together.  A few years later they became parents for the first time - long before disposable nappies were readily available. Terry nappies needed to be soaked and boil washed everyday in a pan on the stove.  My dad had his new post-army civvy job and needed his shirts to be freshly laundered. Clothing was hand washed and mangled before being hung on the line to dry, a feat in itself with a young baby to look after.  My mum coped, because it was the way things were done.

By the seventies, my mum had three daughters, of which I was the youngest.  The laundry demands of  a 70's housewife with three girls and a husband still in need of crisp white shirts was huge.  The old twin tub, which was kept in a full length cupboard and pulled out into the tiny kitchen when the washing needed doing, was a small help.  I still remember my mum with her apron and headscarf on, sweating profusely at the exertion of filling and emptying the twin tub, scrubbing stains by hand and hanging the clothes outside in the backyard on the line that was suspended between the drain pipe and our nut tree.  It took up so much of her time and was labour intensive, as she battled with the noisy, inefficient, juddering second hand machine to get through her mountain of dirty washing.

Fast forward another thirty years and into the world of high tech, convenience and efficient white goods.   I wonder how on earth families survived in a pre-washing machine era.  We are spoilt by the ease in which jobs such as laundry can be carried out today.  We throw in our 8 kg load, add detergent and softener, turn a dial and press a button and as if by magic, technology does the job for us.  We might complain at having to unload the machine and sort out the clothes not suitable for tumble drying, but when I think of what women went through back in the olden days, I know that I am so much luckier than them with my easy care fabrics, stain removers and A rated appliances.

It's easy to take our appliances for granted, that is until something goes wrong and we find ourselves bereft of the convenience and efficiency of modern day living.  I know this through experience - bitter experience!

Back in the days when my dirty washing basket contents were generated by one messy toddler, a fashion conscious teenager, a sporty footballer and a schoolgirl, the unthinkable happened.  The washing machine broke down. First thing to alert us to this disaster was the noise.  The machine had been getting more and more noisy over the weeks beforehand but I simply tried to ignore it and pretend that this was just a normal part of the cycle, rather than the battle cries of a harbinger of impending doom.   This day though, the noise was something else!  Not even turning the radio up to drown out the noise could allow me the delusion of everything being OK.  It sounded like an aeroplane was trying to take off in our utility room.  The house felt like it was shaking in time to the out of control, violently vibrating, movements of the washing machine. Pulling out the wet washing, I found the clothes were smeared with greasy dirt and were peppered with little holes caused by them being pinched between the seals and the wobbling drum. The dirty water hadn't drained properly and spilled out as I tried to salvage my misshapen laundry from my monstrous machine's gaping maw.  The washing machine which had been one of my best friends in the world was now a vicious clothes destroying, stinking water spitting enemy.  It had turned on me.  Whereas I usually sniffed my freshly laundered, floral scented, warm washing as I pulled it from the drum, smiling sweetly at my domestic goddess prowess, I found myself sat in a puddle of dirty water with a pile of soppy wet, holey garments on my lap and crying!

Apparently the bearings had gone.  A common problem with overworked, old and tired washing machines. Thankfully we got a brand, new shiny washing machine to replace the old one which arrived a few days later. The relief of not having to 'wash by hand' was palpable.

When we first used our new washing machine, it was so quiet that we had to check if it was actually working!  We had grown accustomed to our progressively noisier and noisier machine that we had forgotten what a real washing machine should sound like!

Nowadays my BEKO washing machine quietly and efficiently gets on with the job at hand, leaving me free to sit here on my laptop feeling virtuous as I am by all accounts 'doing the laundry' - multi-tasking at its very best!

I feel such admiration for the women that have come before me who have managed to keep on top of their housework, cooking, cleaning, laundering and sweeping, without the benefit of the modern appliances that we take so for granted these days.  We really shouldn't ever complain about doing our daily chores.

Thankfully Ian is far more on the ball now when things look like they might go wrong.  We've learned from our mistakes!  He's there changing bulbs in fridges, fitting drive bands in our vacuum cleaner and replacing seals in our oven door, keeping our appliances working well and extending their useful lives.  Great for the environment and for our pocket!  So hopefully he'll keep our washing machine in good working order for as long as possible, allowing me to take full credit for keeping on top of our mountain of laundry and keeping the family looking smart and well turned out, with minimal effort on my part!

This blog post is my  entry into the Tots100/PartSelect ’Love Your Appliance’ competition.

Center Parcs November Challenge - An Autumn Poem

This month, Center Parcs is challenging bloggers and their families to come up with a poem inspired by Autumn.  Autumn has always been my favourite season as it takes us from the glorious summer sunshine to the cold winter's snow, heralding great changes from day to day. You can really see nature at work and marvel at all its wonders.  

Emma Tapp is Center Parcs Whinfell Forest resident nature expert and Conservation Ranger.  She has some top tips to bring inspiration to help us unleash the inner poet.  Our favourite tip is:  Be inspired by your surroundings - Observe as the leaves change colour from green to red and let the beautiful burnt oranges get the creative juices flowing, what does it look like and remind you of?

It was fun to go out for an inspirational autumn walk and kick up the leaves.  We talked about what we could see and what things we did in the autumn months and let our surroundings inspire us.  Kizzy is a very poetic soul and we brainstormed and talked about similes, metaphors, rhyming couplets and the imagery of Autumn, inspiring each other further.  I love hearing her ideas and working with her on something creative.  Especially when we get to scrunch through the fallen leaves at the same time.

Autumn

Low sun shining in the morning skies

Its orange glow dazzling our eyes,

As our warm breath mists the cold air

And coats are zipped with a mother's care.

Keeping the cooler air at bay

On the school run or out at play.

The roads are lined with litter bug trees 

Mindlessly dropping their unwanted leaves

Leaving them to fall and tumble 

Autumnal acrobats, nature's jumble.

Reds, brown and yellow - a tapestry,

Of Autumn's colours for all to see.

Summer seems so long ago,

Tomorrow holds promise of winter snow,

But here and now, each autumn day

Brings ripening fruit and golden hay,

Leaves to crunch and darkening nights,

An extra hour and Halloween frights.

Watching and wondering at seasonal changes,

The marvel of nature as the world rearranges.

Preparing itself for the coldness to come,

Whilst bringing along its own sense of fun.

A walk in the park, feeding the ducks,

Football fans cheer, all praying for luck.

Wishing on rainbows, the first frosts appear,

Another step taken through another great year.

This is my entry to the Center Parcs and Tots 100 November challenge. If I’m chosen, I would like to visit Whinfell Forest.

A Meal For Two (Instead of Five)

Last night we actually did it...we had a child-free night out for two.  It would never have happened was it not for Tots 100 and Head and Shoulders cajoling me into it, so I am extremely grateful to them both for giving my backside the gentle kick that I needed.  

I had forgotten what it feels like to get ready for a date.  The preparation beforehand is as much a part of the experience as the date itself.  It felt so decadent to be showering, applying make-up and getting changed into new clean clothes in the middle of the day.  Goodness me, I'm usually a shower then straight into PJs kind of girl!  Picking an outfit was my greatest challenge.  I have a wardrobe filled with clothes, 80% of which I don't wear because the insecure part of me insists that they won't fit, they'll make me look fat, they'll make me look like mutton or they'll draw attention to me in a really bad way. (Or they are something I've hung to since the eighties just in case they come back into fashion.)  I really need to work on my body-confidence a bit more and not default to my usual black skinny jeans and vest top combo.  However, Ian was suitably complimentary about my attire and I was impressed that he had ditched his oversized, novelty Dangermouse t-shirt in favour of a slim fitting plain white tee.  The man scrubs up well!

The restaurant we went to had a reservation for two.  There was a vase with a red rose in it on the table.  A far cry from my usual table for six in McDonald's.  We had a bottle of red and perused the menu in a relaxed fashion - not once did I have to resort to bribery to garner control of unruly family members or ask for colouring sheets and crayons to entertain anyone, as is my usual dining experience with the kids in tow.  Ian was impeccably behaved so I was able to drop my motherly duties and slip into wife mode.

We had a fabulous (and rather huge) three course meal followed by coffee and mints ... and I didn't even have to give my After Eights to the kids or anything!  I could get quite used to this occasionally eating-out-without-the-little-ones malarkey.  More wine followed as the taxi home meant we didn't need a designated driver for once.

The chatter flowed freely as we discussed topics ranging from Christmas to films to 'who had done what to whom'.  We laughed, we listened, we flirted and we may have even done a tiny bit of gossiping.  Ian really is my best friend.  He was my friend for years before we became a proper couple and it was nice to fall back into the comfortable banter we used to enjoy.  We did talk about the kids - but as they are our biggest source of pride and joy in the world, we enjoy reveling in tales of what they have done or are going to do.  It does not distract from our enjoyment, it adds to it.  So kid talk will never be out of bounds...even on date night!

Our date night reminded me how nice it is to dress up for my husband.  It gave us a focus to really think about 'us' as a couple rather than our usual default role of mum and dad.  Even though we love being parents, I am acutely aware that  one day the kids will be all grown up and won't need as much of our attention.  When that day comes I don't want to go into deep depression and feel that I have lost everything that has defined me for the most part of my adult life.  I may be a mother, but I am also a wife and one half of the partnership that is 'Wendy and Ian'.  And this side of me deserves some attention too.  

But most of all, date night was really good fun!!  I bloody love that husband of mine  ;)

Thank you to Tots 100 and Head and Shoulders for providing everything I needed for date night!

Tonight's the Night! Preparing for My Date

The time has come for me to put on my glad rags and step outside of my comfort zone - namely my sofa, PJs, slanket, TV and a glass of red - to embark on a romance rekindling date with my husband tonight.  We enjoy getting takeaways, but very rarely eat out together.  Candlelit dinners for two play second fiddle to dinner in front of the TV for five.

That was until Tots 100 and Head and Shoulders very kindly offered me the chance to go on a date with my husband!  I've received a lovely pamper hamper full of girly goodies and I've had a transatlantic phone call with a love guru to give me some advice on how to keep the fires burning! The budget has been taken care of, now all that is left to do is the date night itself!

So tonight, Ian and I are going to be terribly grown-up and enjoy a intimate date consisting of romantic dinner followed by drinks. Babysitters and a taxi are extravagances that have been taken care of, making it easier to slip into our dating personas without worrying about kids or driving.  Conversation is being strictly monitored so it doesn't slip into our go-to chats about work or wondering about what the kids are doing while we're away.

Instead of my usual jeans and boots, there will be high heels and pretty clothes.  And make-up!!  With Head and Shoulders apple scented hair being flicked seductively, I will set out to woo my man all over again!

With Matthew Hussey's relationship advice under my belt, I'll be ready with an unexpected compliment and a kiss filled with promise.  Ian won't know what hit him!

So, wish me luck!  I'll let you know how we get on.

There will be absolutely NO Tweeting or Facebook status updates during the date...but we might take the odd selfie!  That's allowed right??

This was us many years ago enjoying a smoochy moment...I am ready to harness my inner 20-something-year-old and get my smooch on again.  Twenty years and five kids together doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy the odd sneaky date night, some mildly inappropriate PDAs and a self-indulgent few hours of quality us-time now and again!

For some top dating tips take a look at this Good Read from Tots 100.

Do You Do Date Nights?

Ian and I have been married for over sixteen years and together as a couple for over twenty years.  Before getting together officially at 23, we were very close friends and had been boyfriend and girlfriend for a year when we were about fifteen.  So we have had a long relationship, spanning three decades!  We are clearly absolutely and undoubtedly meant to be together.

When we got together at 23, I had two children which meant that we weren't able to 'date' with any wild abandon, spontaneity or freedom, so we quickly fell into enjoying time together at home and as a family. We skipped the bit where you go out wining, dining, clubbing or socialising.  It just didn't happen.  And as we went on to have three more children, we simply have never had the freedom or motivation to revisit the whole date night thing.  If we ever had the opportunity to go out, I always feel guilty about leaving the older kids babysitting and rush back home feeling stressed.  I think I've become a date-ophobe!!

Now Freddy is at school I don't think I can use him as an excuse to not go out once in a while.  He isn't a baby anymore.  I need to look at myself and at my relationship and give me and Ian the chance to rediscover each other.  I want to dress up to impress him and present myself as a woman who wants to spend some quality time together with her man away from the routine and comfort of home and family.  We need to start dating and get into the habit of doing things for ourselves as a couple.  Enjoying each others' company as grown ups and not just spending the evening discussing the kids and wondering if they are coping without us (which of course they will be, because they are great kids who are very competent...so why do I worry so much?)

Our third child is due to fly the coop next year, embarking on a life as a university student.  In a blink of an eye, the two youngest will be making lives of their own, going out, socialising and not needing to be 'mummied' 24/7 anymore.  There will come a point when it is just me and Ian...for the first time ever in our relationship.  We need to start building the foundations for this time in our lives, or there is a distinct danger of me being one of those mums who suffers from empty nest syndrome so badly that she ends up stalking her children and camping out on their doorsteps just to feel fulfilled again.  I need to redefine myself as a woman and not just as a mother, although being a mother to my five wonderful children is the role that I am most proud of and will always be a role that I cherish.

I was recently approached by Head and Shoulders offering me an opportunity to talk to a life coach, receive some pampering products and go on a date.  I jumped at the chance!  It sounds like exactly the sort of thing I need to break my non-dating cycle.  I commit myself 100% to blog challenges and this would provide the impetus needed to get pampered, glammed up, cast off my mummy guilt and enjoy a date with the man I love.  It could be the start of something good!

So, watch this space, because a new confident woman ready to hit the town with her husband, is about to emerge.  I'm sure that taking part in this challenge will give my confidence as well as my relationship a great boost and set us off on a new and exciting phase of our life!

Choosing Happiness

Being Yourself - Brilliantly

A highlight of my day at the Tots 100 Blog Summit was listening to the inspirational, motivational speaker and author of The Art of Being Brilliant  Andy Cope who gave a talk about happiness and positivity in everyday life.  His words spoke directly to the part of me that hides under a dark cloud somewhere deep inside, which sometimes surfaces and threatens to douse my life with irrational, negative thoughts.  Hearing Andy Cope actually felt life changing.

Much of what he said was incredibly simple.  We cannot change what is going on in the world, but we can change how we respond to it.  We can wait for some allusive pot of gold coloured happiness at the end of a neverending rainbow, or we can see the joy in the here and now.  We can train ourselves, with a subtle switch in our perception to choose to be happy.  This may be commonsense, but it certainly is not common practice.

Much of what was said was similar to the way I speak to be children.  If they are down about something that is happening in their lives I remind them that they are in control of how they see their problems.  Approaching those problems with a positive approach is empowering and gives them back the control that feeling down takes away.  Dwelling on negative thoughts will only ever create a spiral of despair.  Wishing away the days until after they have finished their exams or until they break up from school, causes them to miss out of the simple pleasures that surrounds them everyday.  Although these are words I say to my kids with conviction, I have never said them to myself.

Only 2% of the population of the UK according to Andy Cope's research are really happy.  Many of us fall into the category of 'mood hoovers' who dwell in the bottom of the happiness spectrum, sucking the positive energy out of everything and never experiencing true contentment in life.  But this negative outlook is learned behaviour.  Material possessions, career, wealth and success are things we strive for in life to make us happy.  We live fast but we don't live well.  The more we rely on these factors for our happiness, the more disillusioned we can become in our never ending search for the next thing that will complete us.  We need to strip this back and be grateful for what we have.  We need to unlearn this behaviour.  We literally need to stop and smell the roses.

Andy Cope starts each day being thankful that he hasn't got toothache.  A simple trick to start the day happy.  Instead of focusing on the fact that it is silly o'clock, it's raining and you've got loads of work to do, just focus on something positive as your first thought of the day.  For him it's the fact that his teeth don't hurt!  Choosing to find the positive in a situation is the basis of changing your entire outlook on life.  It's so simple, it's genius!  Applying this process to all aspects of your life can definitely change things for the better.

Driving home from Blog Summit there was an accident closing the M6 slip road and causing a tail back.  The weather took a turn for the worse and the heavens opened as we sat there in the traffic jam in the torrential rain.  This incident suddenly became a metaphor for life and a way to begin to change my perceptions for the better.  I didn't stress myself out by being held up at all.  I enjoyed being in the car with my family who had picked me up from the venue, chatting and laughing together about the day we had had.  Then suddenly the sun broke through the rain clouds and  a beautiful rainbow appeared up ahead.  A symbolic rainbow full of the promise of happiness right there at that  very moment.  A sign that we all have the potential to simply be ourselves, but brilliantly!