My Son's Wedding - What a Wonderful Day!

Never have I cried so much, laughed so hard, danced so madly or felt so proud. So many emotions. So much love. So much fun. Such a wonderful day. Surrounded by most of my favourite people in the world.

My brave, amazing son defeated the odds to be on his feet at his wedding. His strength and determination allowing him to stand, to declare his love for his beautiful bride in front of family and friends,  just three weeks after major surgery to remove the cancer that had turned all of our lives upside down. Supported by a crutch and with support from his wife to be, Joe said his vows and married his soulmate, his rock and his first love Jade.

With my gorgeous grandson Ted stealing the show, and with my five beautiful children making me the proudest I have ever been, this wedding gave us all a chance to celebrate something joyous together. After so many months of uncertainty, we were able to simply focus on the positives. Something we all very much needed. 

Joe and Jade have become the new Mr and Mrs McDonald. I hope that they are going to enjoy the title and their married life as much as Ian and I have over the years. With all they have been through together already, I know their relationship is solid and their love for each other is strong.

The security, the companionship, the love, the support, the feeling of being a part of something greater than the sum of its parts - a good, strong, happy marriage is truly a blessing.  I wish my son and my new daughter-in-law a long, healthy and happy life together.

Keeping the Spark Alive in our Marriage

This month, I celebrated nineteen years of marriage with my high school sweetheart, best friend and soul mate Ian. I consider myself so blessed to be with a man that I still love so much, that I am deeply attracted to and who has always been one of my very best mates.

With five children, family is a fundamental part of who we are and we are very proud parents who share the same values and ideals when it comes to our kids. However making time for ourselves has also been an important part of our relationship over the years, and we've never neglected that side of our marriage.

For us, togetherness doesn't have to come in any elaborate way. It's often the little things that bring us closer together. Such as holding hands when we walk around the supermarket, complimenting each other and meaning it, playing our old vinyl collection and slow dancing in the living room or snuggling up on the sofa to watch our favourite TV shows.

Conversation is important, so we always take time to talk to each other about what we are up to or what we plan to do. Being open, honest and truthful with each other has always been important to us. We've always ascertained that having no secrets and never judging each other is one of the cornerstones of our relationship. And laughter is paramount. Humour is one of life's best tools against the seriousness of being an adult with responsibilities. Finding the funny in everyday situations and laughing at ourselves (and each other) keeps things light.

In a lot of ways, I'm quite old fashioned when it comes to relationships. I am the stay at home mum and housewife, Ian is the breadwinner. I love cooking him his favourite meals and I enjoy keeping the house looking nice. He is always appreciative of the things I do and he will also pitch in with the childcare and housework when I need a hand, so there is never any resentment or feelings of being taken for granted. We see ourselves as a team and we work together for the good of our relationship and for our family.

Although finding the time to go out in the evening is difficult, we do enjoy daytime dating! Ian has occasional days off work and we always find the time to go out for a lovely lunchtime meal or catch a daytime showing of the latest must see film at the cinema. Knowing the little ones are safe at school in their normal routine means I can totally relax. Spending some quality time together really helps us connect and allows us to just be ourselves. It's lovely rekindling that feeling of dating, it makes us feel young again, bringing back memories of the early days of our relationship.

According to a survey by Vagisil ProHydrate, 70% of women say intimacy makes them feel closer to their partner, making them feel more connected, confident and loved. It's a way of expressing your love to your partner and to feel loved in return. The top three things associated with intimacy among women in a committed relationship according to the survey are; closeness (69%), togetherness (65%) and love (61%). It's never too late to reconnect with a partner and recapture those feelings of intimacy. Remembering the reasons that you fell in love with each other and re-exploring what those things were, reminds us why we chose one another all those years ago. The stresses of life sometimes get in the way of who we are or what we want to be, so simply enjoying being a couple again can really help to rekindle that spark and allows us to reconnect both physically and emotionally.

            

My husband is my rock and we've seen each other through everything that life has thrown at us over the years. Sometimes, maintaining the effort needed to keep the spark alive can be difficult, but even through the toughest of times, we always dig deep and remember that our relationship and our love is what is at the heart of our family. And when all the children are grown-up and have flown the nest, Ian and I, and our love for each other, will continue going strong.


This post has been written in conjunction with Vagisil’s new ProHydrate range, which relieves intimate dryness so that you can feel comfortable, confident and enjoy intimacy when you want to.

The Vagisil ProHydrate range is available at Boots and Superdrug. For more information, visit the Vagisil website.

A Silly Family Photo and a Wonderful Celebratory Weekend

Four generations of the Jones-McDonald family gathered together to celebrate my parents' sixtieth wedding anniversary this weekend. We were joined by my sister, who has recently relocated down south, who returned along with her husband and two little ones, and her four grown-up daughters with assorted fiances, who helped make a day that my mum and dad will remember forever. There were 22 of us in all, including eleven grandchildren and one great grandchild. Unfortunately, my niece Kate and her little boy couldn't make it and my nephew Tom lives in America - but it was almost a full house! A wonderful time was had by all, including a lovely three course Sunday lunch at The Hind's Head, a gastro-pub in a village three miles away from my home. It was so nice to catch up with everyone, and Freddy was overjoyed to be reunited with his cousins Addy and Dylan again.

I took a lot of photos as it is quite a rarity to have all five of my children home at once, and to get all four generations of our family together. I was pleased to get some new family pictures, but my favourite of the day was this one of my family, (soon to be) daughter-in-law, grandson and parents pulling silly faces...you can only stay serious for so long!

Days spent like this, surrounded by loved ones, laughing, chatting and having fun, makes me realise just how blessed I am. I've got a family that brings me love and joy and makes me so very proud everyday. I couldn't really wish for more.

On my 18th Wedding Anniversary - 18 Things I Love About You

• I love you for giving me so many good things in my life. My wonderful children and a home filled with love, laughter, music and fun. And for the relationship we share.
• I love you for making me want to be the best version of myself that I can be. You really do make me a better person. I only found myself through looking through your eyes.
• I love you for the way you make me feel. You make me feel beautiful, valued and cherished. When I'm in your arms I feel young again. 
• I love that you know you don't have to buy me expensive gifts or lavish me with material things. You know that I value a homemade card more than a designer handbag, or a day spent together more than any amount of fancy jewellery.
• I love that we are a team, facing every challenge together with our family's best interests at heart. In that we are unswerving.
• I love that even after 18 years I still miss you when we are apart and treasure the time we spend together. We like the same things so spending time together is just so easy.
• I love that our relationship is built on solid foundations of friendship, similar values and absolute trust. You truly are my soul mate. We have no secrets. 
• I love that we have overcome obstacles and struggles, but have stuck together throughout everything, emerging stronger and more united. 
• I love you because you are a wonderful human being. You are a hands on dad who puts me and the kids first. You cook, you do housework, you do DIY. You are loving, giving, caring and affectionate. You are the kindest, most thoughtful person I know. You are literally the most amazing human being I have ever met.
• I love you because I know that life without you would only be half a life. You complete me.
• I love that you are an excellent role model for my sons, and an example to my daughters of how a man should be. Through you they know unconditional love, a calm, reasoned approach  and total respect.
• I love that I am still massively physically attracted to you. You tick all my boxes. And you indulge me when I tell you about my latest cougar crush on a Hemsworth brother. We can laugh together and cry together.
• I love you because you never give up on me. You hold your hands up when you have done something wrong, and never judge me for my mistakes. 
• I love the way your beard is turning grey and the fact that you have laughter lines around your eyes and that you need glasses for reading. The passing of time reminds me of how long you have been a part of my life and that we are indeed growing old together, which is something you always promised me.
• I love that I am proud to be your wife and to share your name. I am honoured to be a part of this marriage that we have shared for 18 years.
• I love you, because even though you have seen me at my very worst, your love has never wavered. I can't believe how lucky I am to have a man like you loving me in the way that you do. I would do anything you asked of me without question, as I know you would for me.
• I love you because you support everything I do, giving me the courage and the confidence to be myself.
• I love you because I know you...everything about you...and there is nothing I'd want to change. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I can't imagine what I would have become without you. Yet you think you are the lucky one.

A marriage carved in stone - Happy 59th anniversary Mum and Dad

My dad was the handsome Coldstream Guard who swept my beautiful mum off her feet when they met on a night out in Windsor.  Love blossomed  and 59 years ago on Christmas Eve 1955, they got married.

My parents have shared fifty nine years together as man and wife.  As with all marriages, there have been some bad times as well as some devastating experiences to contend with, but any heartache endured has only served to make them stronger as a couple.

Now, in their eighties, my parents are a shining example of the sanctity of marriage.  Their love for each other is just so obvious as they openly show their affection for each other. My dad said he would marry my mum again tomorrow and he genuinely means it.  They are the sweetest, most wonderful people and I am so proud to call them my parents.

The longevity of their marriage is the benchmark towards which I compare my own marriage, and I hope that in the future Ian and I still love each other as much my parents do.  They make me believe that relationships can and do work and that they are worth investing in.  Their example has made me see that love is the most wonderful and selfless gift that we can give to one another.  If everyone was as happy together as my mum and dad are, the world would be a much happier place!

Happy 59th Anniversary to my wonderful parents.  I love you so very much.

Getting old isn't all bad!

I'm getting old.  But it isn't all bad.  It definitely has its perks.

Seeing the results of my years of parenting all grown-up and doing so well, makes me feel every single moment was worth it.  From the sleepless nights to the tantrums to the school runs to the heartbreaks and beyond, I know it has all worked out OK and I must have done a pretty good job for the past 26 years. My three grown-up kids make me immensely proud.  Joe balances being a career man with being a family man. His hands on approach to being a dad is wonderful to witness. Seeing your own child as a parent is such a humbling experience.

Megan is following her dreams and is involved in TV and film production. Just a few months ago she took a huge gamble and quit her job in marketing. It hasn't taken her long to make her mark in the industry, starting off as an unpaid runner, gaining a good reputation and being recommended for work.  She's currently working for the BBC and can add working with John Hurt to her CV. Her determination and ambition inspires me so much.

Ella is in the middle of her A'Levels and is off to university in September. She's got an exciting future ahead. Our house will be so much emptier without her, but I am so excited to see her take this huge step and will be supporting her all the way.  I'll still have my two youngest at home to keep me busy, and we will enjoy visiting everyone at weekends!

Not only am I a grandparent, I am also an incredibly proud Great Auntie (aka Grauntie because it sounds so much cooler!) I am loving the new generation of little people who are taking their place on my family tree, and the promise of future grandchildren, great nephews and great nieces thrills me to bits.

However there is absolutely no denying the fact that my body is ageing, changing and entering a new phase of my life.  My hair is gradually losing the battle of the grey but I absolutely refuse to start dying it.  My natural hair colour is almost black and the root/dye contrast will be just too stark. So I have to get used to the white hairs sprouting where once dark hair grew. I convince myself that the interlopers, stripped of their youthful tones are silver highlights.  It sounds so much more glamorous!

I look at Ian, the man I have known for over 30 years, my husband of 17 years.  He has crinkles around his eyes, his beard is salt and pepper and his back doesn't hold out as well as it did a decade ago.  But when I look at those laughter lines and grey hairs I see someone I am honoured to grow old with.  He always told me he wanted to grow old with me, and here we are hitting our mid forties together and still very much in love. We are still both young at heart, we adore our family and we pride ourselves on still being "down with the kids"!

We don't plan to let the onset of old age bulldoze over us anytime soon.  We have embarked on a huge overhaul of our vegetarian diets.  We eat cleaner now and actively embrace healthy eating.  We have ditched all the processed rubbish, the refined sugars, dairy products and chemical additives and opened our eyes to the joys of fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, cooking meals from scratch and finding healthy alternatives in our choice of carbohydrates. We are really enjoying getting creative with courgette 'noodles' and cauliflower 'rice'!

In the scheme of things, these are small changes but they made a great difference to our lives.  I have lost weight without 'dieting' and some health issues I was having such as dizzy spells, extreme tiredness and hormonal imbalances seem to have completely gone. (I blame too much refined sugar and a Pepsi Max addiction for the symptoms, so eliminating both from my diet has helped enormously!)

Our advancing years are not something to fear or dread.  They hold the promise of many more wonderful adventures.  Watching our five children forging their paths in the world, embracing the next generation of our family and enjoying entering the autumn of my years with the man I love.

My Marriage - Seventeen Years On!

Seventeen years ago today I married my best friend and embarked on the great adventure that is marriage. There has not been a single day that has passed where my husband hasn't told me that he loves me.  I am a lucky to have a man who makes me feel so valued and loved; who accepts me for everything I am and has never tried to change me (and who does more than his fair share of housework!).  I've known Ian since my early teens and his existence is so entrenched into my own life, I cannot remember what it was like without him by my side.  We share so many memories of being at school, growing up in sunny Slough and having mutual friends.  He's knows everything about me, and still loves me. No secrets, no lies.

 Together we have celebrated our family.  We have watched our eldest three grow into wonderful adults and have welcomed two more children into the fold.  Our five kids are our greatest blessing and our biggest achievement.  They make us so proud every single day.  Joe has got his own life in Northampton with a successful career and a little boy who he adores. He is an amazing dad.  Megan is doing fantastically well as she pursues a career in film production and has already worked with John Hurt on a feature film!  Her ambition, dedication and drive is inspirational. Ella is about to sit her A'Levels and will be off to university this September to study criminology. She is so talented and so very lovely.  Kizzy is our beautiful, fashion loving girl who is due to start secondary school after the summer.  Her sense of humour and fun keeps us all smiling. Freddy is such a breath of fresh air in our family, a whirling dervish of mischief with a heart of gold (when it suits him!).  I look at them and know that if I were to achieve nothing more in my lifetime, I would still feel accomplished. I am so grateful to have had Ian with us, every step of the way.

I love my marriage.  I love feeling a part of something that is greater than the sum of its parts.  I feel safe.  I feel whole. Being a wife and a mother is an honour.  It's been my salvation.  I look forward to the future as we face all the challenges to come together as a team.

I can't believe that we've been together for twenty years and married for seventeen years. I guess we're probably classed as a middle aged couple now!  But as long as we can still laugh and have fun and enjoy the blessings of our family life, then the next decades will be every bit as wonderful (in spite of our advancing years!) 

Happy Anniversary Ian. My husband. I love you. xxx

Tonight's the Night! Preparing for My Date

The time has come for me to put on my glad rags and step outside of my comfort zone - namely my sofa, PJs, slanket, TV and a glass of red - to embark on a romance rekindling date with my husband tonight.  We enjoy getting takeaways, but very rarely eat out together.  Candlelit dinners for two play second fiddle to dinner in front of the TV for five.

That was until Tots 100 and Head and Shoulders very kindly offered me the chance to go on a date with my husband!  I've received a lovely pamper hamper full of girly goodies and I've had a transatlantic phone call with a love guru to give me some advice on how to keep the fires burning! The budget has been taken care of, now all that is left to do is the date night itself!

So tonight, Ian and I are going to be terribly grown-up and enjoy a intimate date consisting of romantic dinner followed by drinks. Babysitters and a taxi are extravagances that have been taken care of, making it easier to slip into our dating personas without worrying about kids or driving.  Conversation is being strictly monitored so it doesn't slip into our go-to chats about work or wondering about what the kids are doing while we're away.

Instead of my usual jeans and boots, there will be high heels and pretty clothes.  And make-up!!  With Head and Shoulders apple scented hair being flicked seductively, I will set out to woo my man all over again!

With Matthew Hussey's relationship advice under my belt, I'll be ready with an unexpected compliment and a kiss filled with promise.  Ian won't know what hit him!

So, wish me luck!  I'll let you know how we get on.

There will be absolutely NO Tweeting or Facebook status updates during the date...but we might take the odd selfie!  That's allowed right??

This was us many years ago enjoying a smoochy moment...I am ready to harness my inner 20-something-year-old and get my smooch on again.  Twenty years and five kids together doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy the odd sneaky date night, some mildly inappropriate PDAs and a self-indulgent few hours of quality us-time now and again!

For some top dating tips take a look at this Good Read from Tots 100.

How to Keep the Spark in your Relationship

However much I love my husband, there are times when I know I neglect us as a couple.  With all the pressures of family life, it's easy to let your relationship take a back seat.  It's easy to concentrate on the kids and give them 100% of your focus.  But one day they will leave home and you will find that it is just the two of you.  You owe it to future-you to pay some attention to your marriage, creating a strong foundation for the future and setting a good example to your children so they can go on to have good relationships in their lives.

I was lucky enough to have a transatlantic phone consultation with relationship expert and love guru Matthew Hussey as part of the date night campaign with Head and Shoulders. He told me some great tips on how to keep our relationship fresh and offered some helpful suggestions on how to make magic moments that will reconnect us and provide a framework upon which to grow together.  Making new rituals will help condition us into making our relationship better and build a relationship that will withstand the test of time.

1- Take time on your personal grooming so you look good and feel good.  Pamper yourself before a special date and enjoy making yourself look beautiful. (And if your other half complains you are taking too long getting ready, just remind them that you enjoy making yourself look beautiful for him!)

2- Give your partner a compliment.  Think of something new to compliment them on and mean it.  Think about the little things that you love about them and let them know.  Make them feel loved and cherished and never taken for granted.

3- Recognise the different types of affection that you share with your partner and aim to add some extra ways to touch them that will keep them guessing.  Ian and I are really quite demonstrative and if I ever reach out to gently stroke his back or squeeze his arm, whilst we're doing the weekly grocery shopping or some other mundane task, it always makes him smile and silently reminds him that he is loved.  It's an unexpected  chance to connect in everyday moments.

4- Live in the present and dream of the future!  Look forward to something together.  Plan a trip, discuss your retirement or plan a date night!  Think of something that excites you that you can talk about and take mutual pleasure in.  Don't dwell on the comfortable familiarity of yesterday.  Look towards tomorrow and focus on the good things you are yet to enjoy.

5- Connect to each other through a shared activity.  Maybe take a course, learn a language, research something that interests you.  Having something new and different to talk about (other than work, money or the kids) that will inspire interesting and new channels of conversation.  Doing so helps you to grow yourself and open up the world to you both.

6- Rekindle early habits and set new routines into motion.  Don't focus on a one off grand gesture, instead work on a new set of practices that you can adopt into everyday life that will bring you together as a couple, help nurture your relationship and make your time together filled with special moments.

It's not rocket science, but it never hurts to remind yourself of the importance of devoting time to your marriage. We've been married for 16 years now and our third child is due to leave home next year, leaving us with just two chicks in our nest.  We are edging closer to the day when it is just the two of us and when that day comes I want it to be an opportunity to really explore and enjoy our time as a couple.  Working on our relationship now and holding onto the reasons that made us fall in love in the first place (some 30 years ago when we started dating for the first time) reminds me just how lucky we are to have each other.  We are soul mates, best friends and true loves.  Our time together is precious.  We need to remember this fact and not allow ourselves to slip into boring ruts that threaten to take the sparkle off of what we have.  Occasional date nights will definitely help put the romance back, allowing us to enjoy each other away from the responsibility of home life...if only for a few hours.

You can find Michael's website at howtogettheguy.com where he shares some of the secrets of attraction and where you can sign up to attend one of his highly successful and popular seminars.

The Date Night campaign that I am part of is being sponsored by Head and Shoulders who sent me the lovely pampering products!

Do You Do Date Nights?

Ian and I have been married for over sixteen years and together as a couple for over twenty years.  Before getting together officially at 23, we were very close friends and had been boyfriend and girlfriend for a year when we were about fifteen.  So we have had a long relationship, spanning three decades!  We are clearly absolutely and undoubtedly meant to be together.

When we got together at 23, I had two children which meant that we weren't able to 'date' with any wild abandon, spontaneity or freedom, so we quickly fell into enjoying time together at home and as a family. We skipped the bit where you go out wining, dining, clubbing or socialising.  It just didn't happen.  And as we went on to have three more children, we simply have never had the freedom or motivation to revisit the whole date night thing.  If we ever had the opportunity to go out, I always feel guilty about leaving the older kids babysitting and rush back home feeling stressed.  I think I've become a date-ophobe!!

Now Freddy is at school I don't think I can use him as an excuse to not go out once in a while.  He isn't a baby anymore.  I need to look at myself and at my relationship and give me and Ian the chance to rediscover each other.  I want to dress up to impress him and present myself as a woman who wants to spend some quality time together with her man away from the routine and comfort of home and family.  We need to start dating and get into the habit of doing things for ourselves as a couple.  Enjoying each others' company as grown ups and not just spending the evening discussing the kids and wondering if they are coping without us (which of course they will be, because they are great kids who are very competent...so why do I worry so much?)

Our third child is due to fly the coop next year, embarking on a life as a university student.  In a blink of an eye, the two youngest will be making lives of their own, going out, socialising and not needing to be 'mummied' 24/7 anymore.  There will come a point when it is just me and Ian...for the first time ever in our relationship.  We need to start building the foundations for this time in our lives, or there is a distinct danger of me being one of those mums who suffers from empty nest syndrome so badly that she ends up stalking her children and camping out on their doorsteps just to feel fulfilled again.  I need to redefine myself as a woman and not just as a mother, although being a mother to my five wonderful children is the role that I am most proud of and will always be a role that I cherish.

I was recently approached by Head and Shoulders offering me an opportunity to talk to a life coach, receive some pampering products and go on a date.  I jumped at the chance!  It sounds like exactly the sort of thing I need to break my non-dating cycle.  I commit myself 100% to blog challenges and this would provide the impetus needed to get pampered, glammed up, cast off my mummy guilt and enjoy a date with the man I love.  It could be the start of something good!

So, watch this space, because a new confident woman ready to hit the town with her husband, is about to emerge.  I'm sure that taking part in this challenge will give my confidence as well as my relationship a great boost and set us off on a new and exciting phase of our life!

Sixteen Things I Love About You

On May the 16th 1997, I married Ian.  The boy I had known throughout secondary school, who I had briefly dated and had never lost touch with.  The boy who was my best friend, seeing me through the ups and downs of my life.  The boy with whom I successfully gambled a dear friendship on, as we took our relationship to the next level. The boy who became a man.  My man.  The man I married.

Sixteen years of marriage later, I am sharing my life and my family with Ian.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  We have grown together and are now in such a wonderful place that brings comfort, stability and joy into all of our lives.  For that I am forever thankful.

So, as a tribute to the man that I married, here are "Sixteen Things I Love About You!"

1:  You are without doubt the most patient person I have ever met. Hearing you talk my 79 year old mum through the latest update on her computer is simply incredible.  You, sir, are an actual saint!

2:  You have smoothed away all my sharp edges and made me a better person.

3:  You are an amazing dad.  You are so hands-on with the little ones and an inspiration to the older ones.  You're the dad that the other kids think is cool.

4:  You can still give me butterflies when I look at you.

5:  You aren't afraid of turning your hand to anything. You really are an inspiration to me. You fear nothing!

6:  You support everything I do.  Even if I screw up, you're still there encouraging me. (I know that you don't really like chargrilled vegetable stew, but you make me believe that my burnt dinner offerings are not a total fail!)

7:  You look like the love child of Kevin Bacon and Mark Wahlberg.

8:  I love you playing the guitar. You even wrote a song for me. Our house is filled with music that transcends the generations and has us all singing along.  I love that. You are my rock star.

9:  We share a love of horror films and we indulge that love on our big ass 3D TV.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D Blu-ray is on pre-order!

10:  You are non-judgmental.  You never hold anything I have ever done against me. (You even humour my cougar crushes on Harry Styles and Zac Efron.)

11:  You are not afraid to cry. (Especially when watching Little House on the Prairie.)

12:  You would rather be with me and the kids than anywhere else in the world.  We don't have to compete for your attention with the pub, football, boys' nights out, the gym or online gaming.  When we do things, we do them together.  The rest of the world doesn't figure in the equation. (But you still let me do all the things I want to do and facilitate me being able to do them!!)

13:  You believe in sharing all the housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. plus you do the 'man's work' like DIY, putting out the bins and mowing the lawn.  I know how lucky I am!!

14:  You know me.  Better than I know myself. I see myself differently now, thanks to you.  Your patience and understanding has helped us weather many a storm.  You have literally saved me from myself time and time again.  You ground me, but you still let me fly.

15:  You are an incredible judge of character and you can instinctively read people and understand them.  It's a gift and I trust your judgment completely. (I do however wish sometimes that your gift was predicting lottery numbers.  We'd make fabulous rich people.)

16:  You make me feel safe.  You make me look forward to the future.  You make me whole.

I love you xxx

Fifteen Years Ago Today

I've Been Married For 15 Years!

Fifteen years ago today I married my best friend, my soul mate and the love of my life.  We had a registrar's office ceremony followed by a reception in a lovely local hotel. 

 We did it all our way.  I wore DMs.  Our decor was burgundy, black and cream.  The children shared the top table with us.  Megan was just six and had a broken arm in a cast.  She held up a drawing of us that she had done (thankfully completed before breaking her arm!).  My niece sang "Beauty and the Beast".  Our son Joe, at age 9, was Ian's best man and delivered a moving best man's speech.  Ella was just a year old and a very cute little bridesmaid.  She shared the bridal suite four poster bed with us on our wedding night.   Attachment parenting trumps romance in our household!  We even went on honeymoon to the Alton Towers Hotel ...with the kids in tow!!

Newly Wed

When We Were Still A Family Of Five

Fifteen years on, I love Ian more than ever and we've added two more gorgeous children to our family. Whatever life throws at us, we always have each other.  I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Next month we will be having a second honeymoon at the Gilpin Hotel in the Lake District which I won in a competition.  The prize includes all the five star luxuries that we could never afford for ourselves...five course meal with matched wines, spa access, afternoon tea and Full English breakfast.  We're staying in an amazing suite overlooking a lake.  It will be our first kid-free break in years...I'm so nervous, but very excited!

 Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband!

It's Never Too Late

I have spent the last 15 years complaining that my husband has never proposed to me.  Our decision to get married came from me suggesting that we probably should do it as we had just added our daughter Ella to our family and I wanted us all to have the same surname.  Not a very romantic way to start married life!

Ian is a truly wonderful man, but no matter how many hints and nudges I gave him, he never really understood the disappointment that had seeded deep inside me and ate away at me over the years.  Anniversary after anniversary came and went and my desire to have my husband before me on bended knee presenting me with a ring got stronger and stronger.  My lack of proposal became a 'thing' between us!  The more I wanted it, the more scared Ian became of doing it.  The elephant in the room taunted me as my ring finger felt more and more naked with each passing year.

Before I was with Ian, I had been engaged three times.  I was a serial fiancee, but not with the man I really, truly loved.  My only memories of engagements were tainted by the fact they involved the wrong man.  I needed to put this right to complete my love story.  Everytime an engagement was portrayed on TV, I felt like I had missed out on the most magical moment of a girl's life.  Poor Ian really got numerous ear bashings as I'd say "Do you remember when you asked me to marry you?  Oh no, of course you don't, because you never even asked me!!!"  When the kids asked about the story of me and Ian getting together there was a big part missing...where was the romance???

Poor Ian.  If only he'd whipped out an H.Samuel's box 15 years ago our life would have been perfect.  Ian is my soul mate, the man I will spend every day of the rest of my life with.  He has completed me and given me everything I've ever wanted.  Except for this one thing.  And he has simply not been able to rectify it.  It made me so frustrated!!!!

Then, this year, Christmas Day 2011, my husband made it all right.

Ian started to play his guitar.  I recognised the opening bars of the song he had written for me some years ago when I complained that there wasn't any love songs ever written with my name in it.  "Hey Wendy!" totally fixed that and gave me my very own song.  Suddenly my three daughters jumped up in front of the Christmas tree.  As Ian played and sang my song, my girls did a brilliant synchronised dance routine that had me laughing and crying in equal amounts.  Suddenly, Ian leapt up and got down in front of me on one knee, doing the one thing I'd been waiting for since 1996!  Inside a gold ring box was a beautiful white gold engagement ring with a cluster of seven diamonds...one for each member of our family.  It looked great with my eternity ring and the sentiment was just perfect.  I couldn't have picked a nicer ring for myself...he knows me so well.

This was the best present ever!  The missing piece of the puzzle of our life together.  I am now Ian's Fiancee Wife!  Who says you have to do things in order...we throw convention to the wind!  It was a beautiful moment witnessed by all my family including my parents who loved every moment of it.  They knew how much it meant to me and were as overjoyed as if it had happened when we first got together all those years ago.

What an amazing Christmas I have had this year!  I hope everyone else have had their dreams come true too.

The Gallery...Something I Am Proud Of.

This week Tara's prompt is "Something I am proud of."  My immediate (and somewhat predictable) thoughts go to my five children who fill me with utter pride everyday.  However, there is another aspect of my life that has made me the person who I am today, and for that I feel very proud.  That is my marriage.

Ian and I met at secondary school and dated when we were 15, but like most teen relationships, it didn't last.  We never lost touch though and Ian was always there for me, even at the most destructive times in my life.  When we finally decided to make another go of our relationship when we were in our early twenties, a lot of people were sceptical of my motives. They thought I was using Ian who had never stopped loving me.  They questioned why after all these years I would want to get back together with Ian.  For us it was simple...the time was right.

We got married in 1997 and I'm sure there were a lot of our 'friends' who thought it would never last and that I'd break Ian's heart. Well, it's been fifteen years now and I still adore my husband with every fibre of my being!  We're bringing up five amazing children together and loving every moment of our family.  We've come a long way and have worked through the tough times to create the best life that we can.  I am so proud of "us".

Our wedding day in 1997.

In the words of Shania Twain's " You're the One":

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong.

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night.

Self Portrait Oct 2011

When Life Throws a Curve Ball

I am a worrier, always have been, always will be.  Mostly, the worry is reserved for my children.  Even after my eldest two have left home, I constantly worry about them.  It doesn't stop.  Very rarely does this worrying extend to my husband.  He is my rock.  My hero.  He will be here by my side forever. No question.  What is there to worry about?

The belief that we will grow old together is set in stone.  It's our destiny.  It was always meant to be.  Perhaps I have taken that unshakable truth for granted, because right now my faith is being tested.  Just a tiny bit. It is only a slight niggle that is rocking the foundations of my world, but it is enough to make me stop and take stock of my life.

I know it's nothing and I'm worrying unnecessarily.  Ian is fine, I'm convinced of it.  But a routine doctor's appointment for a minor ailment lead to some routine tests which have resulted in the discovery of an anomaly.  This is now leading to a further battery of tests.  Ian has never been ill in all the time we've been together, apart from the occasional bout of man flu of course.  He isn't ill now, but the medical profession feel the need to probe and scan and test my husband.  It is a little scary even though I'm sure they are just taking precautions.

Hopefully these tests will highlight a whole host of illnesses that Ian hasn't got.  I'm sure it will put my mind at ease as the list of possible problems are dismissed leaving nothing but a clean bill of health.

But just having the ugly head of the prospect of illness raised in my marriage has shaken me.  Reminding me that every day is precious.  Reminding me to not take anything for granted.

When I was pregnant I had some medical problems.  A heart murmur was detected early in my pregnancy and my kidneys struggled to work properly.  But we weathered the storm together and after Freddy was born I recovered...no more babies for us though!  All our health worries have revolved around me, never Ian.

Maybe this reminder is a good thing, and when this is all over I will be holding onto my loved ones a little tighter, breathing in their scent a little deeper, telling them I love them even more than I do now.  I am so lucky and so blessed.  May I never forget that.

Flashback Friday...My Husband

Today's Flashback Friday post is dedicated to my husband.  I've had Ian as an integral part of my life since I was 15.  He is the unwavering constant, upon which I have relied, for my entire adult life.  I have written about our love story and how, in spite of some very major complications, we have made our way to where we are now.

I don't know whether a week and a bit of illness sweeping through our house has made me feel all over emotional and loved up with my husband, or whether Heather's post yesterday made me appreciate my relationship, I don't know...but anyway....I'm flashing back to 1993!

My husband is known as the "weird one" at work (albeit in a fond way!!) because he doesn't flirt with other women, nor does he "phwoar" when a girl walks past the office window and he doesn't want a sneaky bit on the side to spice up his life!  But saying that, most on his workmates' wives seem to feel disillusioned by their marriage and they merely tolerate each other for the sake of the kids or the mortgage.

We feel a little smug that we are still utterly in love with each other. Maybe because our journey wasn't straight forward we appreciate what we've got.  It hasn't always been plain sailing for us...it took Ian a long time to understand my depressive tendencies (but now I think he could write a book about coping with a slightly bi-polar missus!)  We've muddled through together, with a foundation of being best friends to support all the other roles in our relationship.  The older I get, the more I appreciate him and everything he does (including being the sole breadwinner, doing the washing up, the laundry, hoovering, DIY, PC maintenance, occasional cooking, gardening, putting the kids to bed, making me cups of coffee and taking charge when things go beyond my control.)

So for this Flashback Friday, here's some photos of my husband and best friend Ian back in 1993 when we finally got our act together and realised that as soul mates we were destined to be together.  He sported a fine mohican...very Puck-from-Glee-like!! hehe

My Ian x

With  Joe aged 5.