Cheer Yourself Up on Blue Monday

Today is officially the 'most depressing day of the year'.  A combination of post Christmas blues, winter weather, low motivation, failing New Year Resolutions and financial troubles conspire against us, resulting in a media based rhetoric of doom and gloom. But it doesn't have to be that way!

Positive thinking can go a long way to improve our mental state and banish the negative energy that threatens to ruin our outlook on life.  Simply by smiling, we can lighten our mood and relieve stress.  Focusing on the good and making plans to overcome challenges one step at a time can help to turn around problems.

Another way to make Blue Monday more bearable is to treat yourself to something you'll enjoy. How about preparing a special dinner to lift the spirits?  A healthy and heartwarming root vegetable and lentil stew is full of goodness and is comforting and delicious.  Perfect if you are giving Veganuary a go, or doing Meat-Free Mondays.

A nice glass of something fruity and fun can be a perfect antidote, inviting in a taste of the summer and of tropical climes to counteract the wet British winter.  Barefoot Pink Moscato is a sweet, tongue tickling, bubbly tipple which brings the taste of peach, cherry and raspberry to your palate.  Serve with a handful of strawberries and blueberries in a pitcher with a little ice for a fruity sensation.

Home baking always lifts my soul.  I love making some delicious muffins, cookies or cupcakes to treat the family.  I have made some sweet and indulgent Golden Syrup Cupcakes to cheer ourselves up on Blue Monday.  I've made them dairy-free, but you don't have to.  I used Tate and Lyle's British Inspired Golden Syrup sugar which has a rich, bold and distinctive flavour and gives a syrupy richnesss and a luscious, moist texture to sponge cakes.

Golden Syrup Cupcake Recipe

4oz dairy free margarine

4oz Tate and Lyle Golden Syrup sugar

2 free range eggs

4oz self-raising flour

3oz dairy free margarine

8oz icing sugar

2 tablespoons golden syrup

(add a little almond milk to get desired consistency)

Method 

Cream fat and sugar.

Beat in eggs one at a time.

Fold in sieved flour.

Put spoonfuls into 12 cupcake cases in a tray.

Cook for about 12-15 minutes at 180 degrees or until the top springs back when pressed.

Cool.

Beat the icing ingredients together to desired consistency and pipe onto the cooled cupcakes.

Decorate with a squeeze of golden syrup and a some fudge pieces.

Whatever you do to cheer yourself up today, make sure you remember these words from the Dalai Lama:

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” 

I was sent a bottle of Barefoot Pink Moscato wine from the Barefoot Wine and Bubbly range RRP £6.99. Available at Tesco, Sainsbury's, Asda, Morrisons, Waitrose and Co-Op. Find them on Facebook at Barefoot Wine and Bubbly for fun recipes and serving suggestions.

Tate and Lyle's new Taste Experience range of golden and brown sugars are available in stores. I received some to try out for this recipe (which is my own).  Find Tate and Lyle on Facebook on their We Love Baking page.

Memories and Resolutions

Saying Goodbye to 2013 and Looking Ahead to 2014

Christmas wasn't quite the smoothly run affair I hoped it would be.  With storm damage that caused fences to fall like dominoes in our garden, to an oven that decided to give up on Christmas Eve afternoon, tripping all the fuses in the house, my plans didn't quite go to plan.

In spite of the disasters, we kept smiling.  Although we had no working oven on Christmas Day, my wonderful neighbours allowed us to pop over and cook our Christmas pie in their kitchen as they were away for the day. It wasn't the easiest way of cooking dinner, running between two houses wielding stoneware and oven gloves, but we managed. Thank goodness we are vegetarian and didn't have to worry about cooking a whole turkey!  We managed to improvise on the trimmings and knocked up a passable festive feast for twelve.  The vegan Sweet Potato, Chestnut and Cashew Nut Pie went down a treat with a host of vegetables and potatoes.

It was lovely having my parents, all the kids and Ian's sister Debbie over for Christmas Day.  Presents were exchanged and fun was had by all.  I gave my parents a photo book that I had made, detailing the story of my mum and dad's story from their childhoods through to the present day.  I loved finding old family photos, editing them to bring them back to their glory and including them in the photo book. It took me hours and hours but was worth every second of effort.  To say that my parents were delighted with it, is an understatement. I'm so glad that I was able to make it for them. My girls made me a hamper filled with fabulous things from Lakeland, so lots of baking will feature in 2014!

My son Joe, his girlfriend and my grandson Ted spent Christmas with us this year.  As ever it was great to see my son Joe enjoying being a dad to his little boy.  He is a fabulous father to that little boy.  Joe hasn't had the best time of things lately following a motorway car crash, which has knocked his confidence and left him with injuries that although minor are affecting him rather badly.  I love my son and want to see him happy and healthy in 2014.

We had some Christmas props to add to the fun and we took a load of photos of us wearing silly glasses, hats and beards!  They were the only photographs I took, due to my camera playing up and the general chaos of the day.

There is always a lot of laughter in our house, which always raises my spirits and fills me with cheer.  A hilarious highlight was when Megan and Joe managed to get a photograph of my 80 year old mum retweeted by Ricky Gervais and over 200 other people on Twitter! They re-enacted a scene from Derek where Kev puts cracker hats on the old folk that he had written rude names on.  My beautifully innocent and extremely accommodating mum became an internet sensation for the day appearing on Ricky Gervais's timeline for his 5 million+ followers to see, sporting an orange hat complete with a Sharpie marker embellishment.  So wrong, but so right, especially as my computer savvy mum understood the enormity of a celebrity retweet!

I was so proud of Freddy on Christmas day.  He is a child who does not enjoy change and thrives on routine.  He had already expressed concern about the idea of presents (as he doesn't know what was inside them) and struggled with Christmas decorations changing the way the house looked.  But with some cajoling he actually got quite excited about the concept of Christmas.  We had contingency plans in place in case he had a melt down, but bar a few inappropriate no-filter comments regarding presents that he did not approve of (namely clothing that wasn't blue and a book that wasn't a toy!) he coped perfectly well and had a wonderful day!

Ian bought a new oven on Boxing Day morning as soon as B & Q opened and installed it as soon as he got home, ready to cook a late brunch.  I love how efficient he is!

Adding to our festive disasters was the extra present delivered to us by some of our house guests, namely a rather virulent sickness bug that hit on Boxing Day afternoon, giving my three girls a night of tag teaming the toilet to be violently sick multiple times.The sicknesss bug was not fun, but the camaraderie shown by my kids as they supported each other through a horrendous night of being sick followed by a day of lying on the sofa feeling wretched, demonstrated the strength of their relationship.  It was heartwarming to see the three girls together under duvets watching their new Gossip Girl boxset together.  Plus Megan was delighted to have lost three pounds making the excesses of Christmas day obsolete.  Always a silver lining.

Megan went back to Manchester on New Year's Eve to celebrate the end of 2013 city style.  She has an exciting year ahead of her and I am extremely excited to see what 2014 brings to my wonderful daughter!

We spent a quiet New Year's Eve night eating, drinking and watching TV together.  The London fireworks were amazing to watch at midnight!

I hope 2014 brings good things to everyone.  This is the year that my Godson and nephew Thomas marries his American fiancee Ashley and starts a new life for himself in the USA. It is the year that my daughter Ella goes to university (conditional places at Salford and Manchester means she will be living in the same city as her big sister - perfect for me!)  It's Kizzy's last year at primary school before she goes up to secondary school, a huge milestone in her school life. Megan is embarking on a whole new adventure this year after re-evaluating her life. I am so proud of her! So there are some big, exciting changes coming.

On a sad note, I was devastated to discover some tragic news about a family member this week.  My thoughts and love go out to her and her family at what is a truly terrible and heartbreaking time.  Some tragedies put everything into perspective and make me reassess what is important and what really matters in this world.

With this in mind for 2014:

 I resolve to become the best version of myself that I can be.  
I resolve to be the best wife, mother and daughter that I can be. 
I resolve to look after myself and be as healthy and as happy as I can be.  
Everyday is precious and I resolve not to waste any more time through apathy or disillusionment.

Choosing Happiness

Being Yourself - Brilliantly

A highlight of my day at the Tots 100 Blog Summit was listening to the inspirational, motivational speaker and author of The Art of Being Brilliant  Andy Cope who gave a talk about happiness and positivity in everyday life.  His words spoke directly to the part of me that hides under a dark cloud somewhere deep inside, which sometimes surfaces and threatens to douse my life with irrational, negative thoughts.  Hearing Andy Cope actually felt life changing.

Much of what he said was incredibly simple.  We cannot change what is going on in the world, but we can change how we respond to it.  We can wait for some allusive pot of gold coloured happiness at the end of a neverending rainbow, or we can see the joy in the here and now.  We can train ourselves, with a subtle switch in our perception to choose to be happy.  This may be commonsense, but it certainly is not common practice.

Much of what was said was similar to the way I speak to be children.  If they are down about something that is happening in their lives I remind them that they are in control of how they see their problems.  Approaching those problems with a positive approach is empowering and gives them back the control that feeling down takes away.  Dwelling on negative thoughts will only ever create a spiral of despair.  Wishing away the days until after they have finished their exams or until they break up from school, causes them to miss out of the simple pleasures that surrounds them everyday.  Although these are words I say to my kids with conviction, I have never said them to myself.

Only 2% of the population of the UK according to Andy Cope's research are really happy.  Many of us fall into the category of 'mood hoovers' who dwell in the bottom of the happiness spectrum, sucking the positive energy out of everything and never experiencing true contentment in life.  But this negative outlook is learned behaviour.  Material possessions, career, wealth and success are things we strive for in life to make us happy.  We live fast but we don't live well.  The more we rely on these factors for our happiness, the more disillusioned we can become in our never ending search for the next thing that will complete us.  We need to strip this back and be grateful for what we have.  We need to unlearn this behaviour.  We literally need to stop and smell the roses.

Andy Cope starts each day being thankful that he hasn't got toothache.  A simple trick to start the day happy.  Instead of focusing on the fact that it is silly o'clock, it's raining and you've got loads of work to do, just focus on something positive as your first thought of the day.  For him it's the fact that his teeth don't hurt!  Choosing to find the positive in a situation is the basis of changing your entire outlook on life.  It's so simple, it's genius!  Applying this process to all aspects of your life can definitely change things for the better.

Driving home from Blog Summit there was an accident closing the M6 slip road and causing a tail back.  The weather took a turn for the worse and the heavens opened as we sat there in the traffic jam in the torrential rain.  This incident suddenly became a metaphor for life and a way to begin to change my perceptions for the better.  I didn't stress myself out by being held up at all.  I enjoyed being in the car with my family who had picked me up from the venue, chatting and laughing together about the day we had had.  Then suddenly the sun broke through the rain clouds and  a beautiful rainbow appeared up ahead.  A symbolic rainbow full of the promise of happiness right there at that  very moment.  A sign that we all have the potential to simply be ourselves, but brilliantly!

How To Get It All Back #R2BC

Is Your Glass Half-Empty?  Then Why Not See It As Half-Full Instead? 

I've spoken a lot recently about things that have affected me quite negatively, knocking my confidence and undoing some of the good that I have achieved over the last couple of years.  It seems that sometimes life has been conspiring against me, testing me and chipping away at the happy veneer I had developed.  I hate things that are out of my control.  I hate the fact that I allow things to eat away at me.  I feel myself being eroded and I fear totally losing myself to my inner, ever lurking darkness.  But it doesn't have to be this way.

I am refusing to let all this destroy what I have worked hard to achieve. I am empowering myself again.  I am reminding myself of all the positive things in my life instead of focusing and obsessing about the negatives.  Until you concentrate of the positives, the spiral of doom will just continue. You can't always change the situation you are in, but you can change the way you perceive  it.

•  I have some amazing people in my life.  My husband is simply wonderful and we are about to celebrate fifteen years of marriage.  My children are a constant source of joy, love and pride.  My relationship with my parents is better than it's ever been and the relationship that my kids have with their grandparents is so enriching.  I don't have many friends, but the ones that I do have (both in the real and virtual worlds) are absolutely brilliant, supportive and very positive influences in my life. I have been overwhelmed by some of the support I have received recently. I am so thankful to have all these wonderful folk in my life.
• Ian's health scare a few months ago was a real shock to me.  I never like to think of him as anything less than in perfect health and talk of kidney failure and dialysis was really scary.  Ian's last hospital check up was not 100% perfect, but the doctors were happy enough to discharge him under the proviso that he self-monitors.  At first I was upset by this, but looking at it realistically he is now fully aware of what the problem is.  It will never creep up on us again and if symptoms do return we will act immediately.  We are in a much better place with it all and he is fine. I am so grateful.
• I have a lovely home.  OK, I'd love to move to a better place with more opportunities, but if that never happens, my house is still pretty cool.  We are happy when we're at home together and there are things that I'd miss if I moved away.  So until we move (or in case we never do manage to find a buyer) I intend to enjoy my favourite Indian takeaway, my awesome dentist, Fordhall Farm and the other few things that I really like about my hometown.  Focusing on the negative will not help anyone. 
• I really have low regard for Ella's school but she will be moving to a new college in September.  Kizzy has two more years at Primary School so I don't have to have any involvement for a while.  I am excited about the next stage of Ella's education with the prospect of better facilities, teaching and opportunities.  Her close knit network of friends from her current school will still be here for her, giving her the best of both worlds.  
• We are thinking about our future.  Things are changing for our family and although this is potentially quite scary, it also opens doors.  Rather than being fearful of change, I'm intending to embrace it.  Our financial future is looking rocky for the first time in years, but I am focusing on belt-tightening and budgeting and am actually getting quite a kick out of saving money!
• Too often I've been grabbing something from the freezer for dinner rather than making meals from scratch.  You can get in such a rut and just lose sight of your inner Domestic Goddess.  So I'm going to enjoy cooking again and will be planning healthy meals for my family.  I'm stocking up on lentils and pulses. I'm in control again!
• I've got things to look forward to.  Some really good things.  I want to be in the right state of mind to completely enjoy them...I will be in the right state of mind!!

I can really do this, and if you are feeling like you have lost your self belief, give it a go.  It is a good way to start rebuilding yourself.  Look at what you have got and be grateful, rather than pining for what you can't have or focusing on what is wrong in your life.  See the beauty in your life and remove the negative thoughts and feelings that are so damaging.  

Thanks to the positivity of S.A.M. for giving me the courage and support to adopt the 'Glass Half Full' approach!

I'm linking up to Michelle's Reason to be Cheerful.  Click on the badge to read more stories of gratitude and cheer.