Working on a whole new me

This year, after turning 46, I have decided to really take some control on my life. I'm not getting any younger and I'm aware that I'm not as fit nor as slim as I would like to be.  So rather than slipping complacently into middle age, I have decided to make it my mission to become the me that I want to be. A mum that my kids can be proud of and aspire to be like and a wife who will enjoy an active future with my husband.

My plan is multi-faceted, taking a holistic approach to health, happiness and well being. As my confidence in myself is increasing, these things are taking on a life of their own. I am finding things about me are changing and I'm happy just going along with it. 

Diet

I am a vegetarian. However, I am an over-eating vegetarian who enjoys food a bit too much. This meant lots of cheese, plenty of carbs and big portions of dinner. This year, I've made steps towards a more plant based diet. Many meals are becoming vegan and I'm making alternative dairy free versions of family favourite meals like my vegan Mac & Cheese. I've made switches to almond milk, soya cream and coconut oil. I've also added more nuts, seeds, vegetables and pulses to our meals, and I've cut down on my refined sugar intake. I still make some slightly more indulgent things from time to time and still enjoy the occasional treat, but on a whole, my family's diet has improved.

However, even though the food I was preparing and consuming was all good stuff, my natural propensity to greediness still resulted in eating to excess. Thankfully, I was fortunate enough to bump into the lovely Sandra from Thinking Slimmer at this year's Blog On MOSI conference. Having worked with Thinking Slimmer before and becoming one of the original weightloss blogger poster girls for the product, I know that Slimpods work. They retune your mind using cognitive hypnotherapy, altering the way your brain thinks about food, allowing you to make good choices naturally.  Sandra agreed to me trialing the Slimpods again and I've started listening at bedtime. 

I must be very susceptible to the Slimpod's suggestion or maybe a part of my brain has been instantly reawakened, because from the very first day I changed. Like someone had thrown a switch in my brain removing the urge to mindlessly snack through every waking hour or eat beyond fullness. It was incredible and after a week I am 3.5 lbs down simply because my habits have changed. No calorie counting or having to make separate meals, I'm just eating less without even thinking about it. I know that the extra weight will be gone soon, while the foods I eat nourish and fuel my body, rather than fill me up with empty calories.

Exercise

Just by making the decision to take back control, I have found myself feeling more active: dancing around the kitchen while I wait for the kettle to boil, jumping up and lunging just for fun or doing some vigorous housework. I'm just more energised. Although doing structured exercise isn't really my thing (my Scoliosis means I end up putting my back out if I go to the gym or do a class), taking active days out with the family really appeals to me.  We have recently bought season tickets to Trentham Gardens and love going for long walks around the lake. I'd like to take our walking further. Climbing the Wrekin is something I'd like to try to do now Freddy is a bit bigger. Popping on our walking boots and packing our waterproofs, some water and healthy snacks in to a suitable rucksack (I've spotted some good rucksacks available online) I reckon we could scale the 1335 ft high peak!  Our Merlin Annual Passes are also great for going on days out. Alton Towers not only boasts some cool rides and CBeebies Land, it has some lovely walks through the gardens, which are pretty steep in places. You get a good workout and its very pretty.

I like the idea of us keeping fit together as a family. I am not the sort of person who could go solo and take up something like running (I have pondered this prospect over and over again as my sister runs and just completed her latest 10K race) but it's just not for me. Walking in beautiful places however, up hills, around lakes, through gardens or in woodland, whilst having fun with Ian and the kids sounds like a good compromise.

Beauty treatments

I've never really been the glamorous type. My own mother refused to leave the house without a full face of make-up, but I am the complete opposite. I'll happily do the school run with a face like nature intended. I've never really bothered with a full blown skincare cleanse, tone and moisturise routine, and until recently, I hadn't been to a hairdresser for years. My mum religiously dyed her hair for as long as I can remember, touching up her white roots with mascara in between treatments. Unlike her, I've decided to go grey naturally. Whether this is down to pure apathy or whether I think silver highlights look cool is open to debate!

Recently however, I've embraced my girlie side, relishing pampering myself top to toe. From face masks to nail varnish to fake tanned legs to pedicures - I am really enjoying using all my beauty products and feeling good about my self.  It feels good to have a bit of me-time while the kids are at school to do something for myself. Me-time is something I've never really understood until now, but investing a little in myself really is a positive thing. Although I'll never be a total glamour puss, I am enjoying taking a bit more time over myself and my beauty rituals. 

Happiness

I make no secret of the fact that I have previously found the concept of happiness quite elusive. In the past I've struggled with depression, dwelling on some dark parts of my life, able to achieve only a superficial kind of fleeting happiness rather than real contentment. But over the years this has changed dramatically. 

Becoming more mindful and reflective has allowed me to let go of so much of the darkness. I have found peace with a lot of issues that festered inside me, freeing me to live in the present and embrace the joy that surrounds me. The joy that comes from being a wife and mother to the most wonderful people that I have in my life. I strive to be a better person and have learnt that true happiness comes from giving rather than taking.

I am in a good place. That doesn't mean that bad things don't happen, but when they do I'm better positioned to help those around me through them. My mantra these days is that I can't change things that have happened, but I can change the way I deal with them and the effect they have on me. Life truly is so precious, to live it in the dark is such a waste.

Taking responsibility for my health, for my happiness and for my life has made a huge difference to me. Here's hoping I can maintain my momentum and emerge a better person.

Five Ways to Achieve a Happier You

They say that: "happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life".  But to achieve this state of happiness may well require a little effort by way of setting the tone for each day ahead with a good dose of positivity.  Starting the day well and making small changes to our outlook on life can make a big difference to our overall happiness.

Count Your Blessings

It's so easy to take things for granted, but when you stop and think about the good things in your life, you feel truly blessed.  For me, I have a family who are everything to me.  I have a husband who I am still totally in love with, even after two decades together!  My children are my world.  Motherhood defines me and my children's love validates me.  Being surrounded by the love and laughter of my family is a wonderful place to be.  

Be Mindful

 If you are constantly complaining about the weather, your lack of money or the fact that you're a few pounds overweight, then you are wasting precious time, giving yourself over to pessimism and missing out on the everyday wonders that surround us.  Being mindful of the positive things that are present in the here and now, however small they may seem, helps combat stress and anxiety, opening us up to a happier more content outlook. Just taking a moment to be still and to reflect on these things can be life changing.

Silver Linings

Making a conscious effort to find silver linings in anything that may initially be thought of as a negative is a great way of finding the good in situations.  We can't change the world, but we can change the way we perceive it and respond to it. There are lessons to be learned if we open ourselves up to them.  As Doctor Seuss so beautifully said, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Stop and Smell the Coffee

Thinking of the things that make us happy is an antidote to the stresses and strains of modern living.  But this doesn't mean we should be focusing purely on the big and possibly unachievable things.  Yes. we'd all love to win the lottery or land our dream job, but these things don't happen very often to ordinary folk. Instead, we should take the time to recognise the little sources of happiness that happen around us everyday and appreciate them when they arise.  For me, it's the smell of coffee, the feel of sunshine on my skin, seeing a rainbow, hearing my kids laughter, eating the perfect strawberry, baking a cake, a lunchtime phone call with my husband or reading a good book.  Recognising these little things that make us happy and bring us pleasure, is a great start to achieving a greater happiness.

Spread a Little Happiness

A shared smile with a stranger.  The warm feeling of knowing you have helped someone in need.  Feeling a part of a greater joy. Making others happy can amplify your own feelings of happiness.  It's often the little things like making small talk to the old lady in the supermarket or buying lunch for an old friend that makes us feel good about ourselves and the role we are playing in the lives of others. Random acts of kindness are seldom forgotten, and knowing that we have made someone's day a little brighter is an empowering thought.

How do you go about achieving happiness in your life??

I was challenged by Dorset Cereal to write this post about what makes me happy and how I try to inject happiness into my life .  They sent me some cereals so I could enjoy a good breakfast while reflecting upon the good things that surround me. Even the packaging of the cereals put me in a happy mood, giving me a cheery disposition in the morning. After all, as Dorset Cereals say life begins at breakfast!

Choosing Happiness

Being Yourself - Brilliantly

A highlight of my day at the Tots 100 Blog Summit was listening to the inspirational, motivational speaker and author of The Art of Being Brilliant  Andy Cope who gave a talk about happiness and positivity in everyday life.  His words spoke directly to the part of me that hides under a dark cloud somewhere deep inside, which sometimes surfaces and threatens to douse my life with irrational, negative thoughts.  Hearing Andy Cope actually felt life changing.

Much of what he said was incredibly simple.  We cannot change what is going on in the world, but we can change how we respond to it.  We can wait for some allusive pot of gold coloured happiness at the end of a neverending rainbow, or we can see the joy in the here and now.  We can train ourselves, with a subtle switch in our perception to choose to be happy.  This may be commonsense, but it certainly is not common practice.

Much of what was said was similar to the way I speak to be children.  If they are down about something that is happening in their lives I remind them that they are in control of how they see their problems.  Approaching those problems with a positive approach is empowering and gives them back the control that feeling down takes away.  Dwelling on negative thoughts will only ever create a spiral of despair.  Wishing away the days until after they have finished their exams or until they break up from school, causes them to miss out of the simple pleasures that surrounds them everyday.  Although these are words I say to my kids with conviction, I have never said them to myself.

Only 2% of the population of the UK according to Andy Cope's research are really happy.  Many of us fall into the category of 'mood hoovers' who dwell in the bottom of the happiness spectrum, sucking the positive energy out of everything and never experiencing true contentment in life.  But this negative outlook is learned behaviour.  Material possessions, career, wealth and success are things we strive for in life to make us happy.  We live fast but we don't live well.  The more we rely on these factors for our happiness, the more disillusioned we can become in our never ending search for the next thing that will complete us.  We need to strip this back and be grateful for what we have.  We need to unlearn this behaviour.  We literally need to stop and smell the roses.

Andy Cope starts each day being thankful that he hasn't got toothache.  A simple trick to start the day happy.  Instead of focusing on the fact that it is silly o'clock, it's raining and you've got loads of work to do, just focus on something positive as your first thought of the day.  For him it's the fact that his teeth don't hurt!  Choosing to find the positive in a situation is the basis of changing your entire outlook on life.  It's so simple, it's genius!  Applying this process to all aspects of your life can definitely change things for the better.

Driving home from Blog Summit there was an accident closing the M6 slip road and causing a tail back.  The weather took a turn for the worse and the heavens opened as we sat there in the traffic jam in the torrential rain.  This incident suddenly became a metaphor for life and a way to begin to change my perceptions for the better.  I didn't stress myself out by being held up at all.  I enjoyed being in the car with my family who had picked me up from the venue, chatting and laughing together about the day we had had.  Then suddenly the sun broke through the rain clouds and  a beautiful rainbow appeared up ahead.  A symbolic rainbow full of the promise of happiness right there at that  very moment.  A sign that we all have the potential to simply be ourselves, but brilliantly!