Monday, 23 May 2016

Keeping the Spark Alive in our Marriage

This month, I celebrated nineteen years of marriage with my high school sweetheart, best friend and soul mate Ian. I consider myself so blessed to be with a man that I still love so much, that I am deeply attracted to and who has always been one of my very best mates.


With five children, family is a fundamental part of who we are and we are very proud parents who share the same values and ideals when it comes to our kids. However making time for ourselves has also been an important part of our relationship over the years, and we've never neglected that side of our marriage.

For us, togetherness doesn't have to come in any elaborate way. It's often the little things that bring us closer together. Such as holding hands when we walk around the supermarket, complimenting each other and meaning it, playing our old vinyl collection and slow dancing in the living room or snuggling up on the sofa to watch our favourite TV shows.

Conversation is important, so we always take time to talk to each other about what we are up to or what we plan to do. Being open, honest and truthful with each other has always been important to us. We've always ascertained that having no secrets and never judging each other is one of the cornerstones of our relationship. And laughter is paramount. Humour is one of life's best tools against the seriousness of being an adult with responsibilities. Finding the funny in everyday situations and laughing at ourselves (and each other) keeps things light.

In a lot of ways, I'm quite old fashioned when it comes to relationships. I am the stay at home mum and housewife, Ian is the breadwinner. I love cooking him his favourite meals and I enjoy keeping the house looking nice. He is always appreciative of the things I do and he will also pitch in with the childcare and housework when I need a hand, so there is never any resentment or feelings of being taken for granted. We see ourselves as a team and we work together for the good of our relationship and for our family.

Although finding the time to go out in the evening is difficult, we do enjoy daytime dating! Ian has occasional days off work and we always find the time to go out for a lovely lunchtime meal or catch a daytime showing of the latest must see film at the cinema. Knowing the little ones are safe at school in their normal routine means I can totally relax. Spending some quality time together really helps us connect and allows us to just be ourselves. It's lovely rekindling that feeling of dating, it makes us feel young again, bringing back memories of the early days of our relationship.

According to a survey by Vagisil ProHydrate, 70% of women say intimacy makes them feel closer to their partner, making them feel more connected, confident and loved. It's a way of expressing your love to your partner and to feel loved in return. The top three things associated with intimacy among women in a committed relationship according to the survey are; closeness (69%), togetherness (65%) and love (61%). It's never too late to reconnect with a partner and recapture those feelings of intimacy. Remembering the reasons that you fell in love with each other and re-exploring what those things were, reminds us why we chose one another all those years ago. The stresses of life sometimes get in the way of who we are or what we want to be, so simply enjoying being a couple again can really help to rekindle that spark and allows us to reconnect both physically and emotionally.


My husband is my rock and we've seen each other through everything that life has thrown at us over the years. Sometimes, maintaining the effort needed to keep the spark alive can be difficult, but even through the toughest of times, we always dig deep and remember that our relationship and our love is what is at the heart of our family. And when all the children are grown-up and have flown the nest, Ian and I, and our love for each other, will continue going strong.

This post has been written in conjunction with Vagisil’s new ProHydrate range, which relieves intimate dryness so that you can feel comfortable, confident and enjoy intimacy when you want to.
The Vagisil ProHydrate range is available at Boots and Superdrug. For more information, visit the Vagisil website.



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