Freddy is 7 Today

My son. My beautiful boy.

7 years of love, pride and joy.

Happy Birthday Freddy.

This year, Freddy loves:

DanTDM

Harry Potter

YouTube

Quorn 'Gammon' steaks

FAB lollies

the whites of eggs

gymnastics

Diary of a Wimpy Kid books

his family

my made up bedtime stories

dancing in the shower after his swimming lessons

superheroes

going to the cinema on a Sunday morning

playing XBox sports games

cartwheels

mozzarella and sun dried tomato panninis in Costa

the colour purple

toffee yumyums from Lidl

That's my boy xxx

Life is a Rollercoaster - a birthday trip to Alton Towers

This weekend it was my 47th birthday and I was delighted to have my girls come down from Manchester to spend a few days at home to help me celebrate. We took a trip to Alton Towers on the Sunday, which was enjoyed by us all. The girls went on Galactica, the new ride for this year, and loved the fusion of a rollercoaster ride with space age virtual reality. Oblivion, The Smiler, Duel and Thirteen were all revisited on our first Alton Towers trip of the year.

Freddy had his first big coaster experience on Thirteen, as he has now exceeded 1.2m tall. He was so brave and proudly announced that he only screamed twice! Although he is growing up fast, he still loves the rides and shows for little ones in CBeebies Land too. He's at that perfect age where everything is wonderful and exciting and there is so much to discover and learn. I love sharing all of this with him.

The weather wasn't great, but we had a lovely day together. Who needs sunshine when you've got family and love? A box of freshly made donuts doubled up as the perfect birthday cake to accompany an impromptu chorus of "Happy Birthday to You", while we warmed ourselves up in the Corner Cafe.

We had a lovely weekend and for a short while we were able to put our worries to one side and just enjoy living in the moment. Sadly though, life has a way of knocking you back down to reality with a bump, and on Monday it did just that.

Despite our attempt at being optimistic, some bad news was confirmed. But as usual, I scraped myself off the floor and popped my brave face back on. As a mum, you need to stay strong for everyone and that is exactly what I intend to do. I will protect my family with every breath in my body. But with the bad news, also came knowledge. Knowledge is empowering and gives us an opportunity to name our demons and face them full on. Knowing what you are up against helps you to fight back. So we are now forearmed and along with the strength and love we have as a family, plus the support of dear friends and loved ones, we are ready to ride this rollercoaster of life together. Powering through the ups and downs, taking pleasure from the thrills and taking comfort in the knowledge that the lows are always temporary.

How can my oldest child be 27?

Twenty seven years ago I had my first child. Twenty seven years? How is that even possible?

I remember being 27 myself. It doesn't seem that long ago and yet now my son Joe is that age. 27? That is nearly 30. If my baby boy is nearly 30 then I must be pushing 50! Half a century! How has that come around so fast? Surely 1988 wasn't that long ago?

I remember becoming a mum to Joe like it was yesterday. A terrified teenager. A baby that changed everything for the better. We embarked on an adventure together. Just me and him. The two of us. Mother and son against the world. We did OK!

Time kept creeping on. Birthdays were celebrated, years passed by.

Along the way, our lives were blessed with the arrival of our knight in shining armour, Ian who made everything complete, safe, secure and happier than we could ever have imagined, and with four further beautiful babies to add to the brood. Our little tiny family of two swelled to become a family of seven. A fabulous, loud, proud, chaotic, slightly bonkers and absolutely perfect family.

Tick tock. Time continued to pass. My babies grew up under my watchful eye, surrounded by my constant love. Little boys grow into men. They get tall, they start to shave, they get a job, they spread their wings.

Now my son has his own life. A life he has created for himself. A life that makes me so proud of him. He is a wonderful daddy to my gorgeous grandson Ted. I'm not just mum anymore - I'm Nana Wendy now too. Joe gave me that gift.

We've grown older alongside each other for 27 years. Things have changed but the love I felt for that tiny baby I delivered all those years ago has not diminished one little bit. He's always my baby boy - but my baby boy is now a man. A 27 year old man. I'm a much older woman than I was 27 years ago, but my life has been made richer every single day since becoming a mother. 27 years of unconditional love has made me who I am today. Shaped me into someone I am proud to be. And it all started with the birth of my son. My son who is 27 today.

 Happy birthday son xxx

How we celebrated Ian's birthday

Ian and I have been together forever. We've known each other since we were 12 and been married for 18 years. So we've celebrated plenty of birthdays and special ocassions together. Yesterday my wonderful husband turned 47. 

Over the years, the way we choose to celebrate the big events in our lives has evolved. Rather than being a couple who buys presents for each other, we prefer to do it differently and don't do gifts. Being gift-free eliminates so much stress and takes away the potential for disappointment. The expectation of him buying you the perfect present or you getting him something that ticks all his boxes, can lead to so much unnecessary tension. If you fail to read your partner's mind or find something that they think somehow proves your love for them, it can literally ruin your big day. And yes I speak from experience. Once Ian surprised me with jewellery. The lovely little box promised so much, but the plain gold chain inside (lovely as it was) disappointed me dreadfully. Did Ian think I was plain, unfeminine and unworthy of anything fancy? My response was irrational, ungrateful and frankly pathetic. It put a downer on a special occasion and made me feel like a horrendous human being for my ingratitude. 

Also, with the current economic climate being what it is, buying costly but unnecessary items is literally draining cash out of the family coffers. Extravagant gestures don't impress me. Love and appreciation can be expressed without a big price tag. Ever since we chucked out this expensive tradition, we have been free to express ourselves without relying on material things and expensive surprise gifts. (However my mum still asks us every year what we've bought for each other and looks so disappointed when I say "Nothing!")

This year we decided that a few days away together would be a nice way to celebrate the long weekend leading up to Ian's birthday. Our Veggie Vacation in Leicester proved to be a gastronomical delight of vegetarian proportions. We had some fun shopping, picking up some band merchandise from HMV, novelty t-shirts from a quirky printing shop, some goodies from The Disney Store and some Minecraft stuff from Forbidden Planet. We also got to spend some quality time with Ian's big sister Debbie while we were there, which was lovely. 

The next day we went to Alton Towers, staying overnight in the new Enchanted Village accommodation. As Merlin Annual Pass holders we often visit Alton Towers and always enjoy ourselves. Our little lodge in the village was just so adorable, looking like something a hobbit would inhabit in the Shire. The attention to detail, from the wooden log cushions to the beautifully decorated kids' bunk room to the fairy door in the wall, was just magical. We loved it!

Two days in the park was plenty of time to do everything we wanted to do. The queues are still pretty short on the big rides, although CBeebies Land is quite busy. The girls were able to hit the rollercoasters, while Ian and I did the kid friendly rides and attractions with Freddy. It's a great day out for all of us.

After our few days away, we came back home ready to treat Ian to his annual birthday meal. Ian is an absolute rock star to us, so a rock music themed dinner party was our plan. The girls and I designed a Mexican buffet style meal with a rock twist, using rock group/food puns alongside some gothic Ozzy Osbourne 'Prince of Darkness' style decor. Iron Maiden beer fitted the theme perfectly. Blasting out some Black Sabbath, AC/DC and Led Zeppelin on vinyl and wearing rock band T-shirts completed the evening.

Ian's birthday has been fabulous and we have had a lovely time. It has been a great way to end the summer holidays. Next week Ella will be back at university and Kezia and Freddy will be back at school. The prospect of going back to reality isn't filling me with much joy, but I have some plans to make the most of my time being here at home on my own again. Kezia's 13th birthday is in October so I'm going to start planning for that and Christmas is only a few weeks away!! Any excuse for some more family celebrations!

A wonderful birthday weekend with Trentham Gardens, Oruna Cuisine and Alton Towers

I think this year has been my best birthday ever!

It started on the Friday, with Ian taking the day off to be with me while the kids were at school. We headed off to Trentham Gardens where we started the morning with a Frankie and Benny's vegetarian breakfast before going into the gardens for a walk. The sun was shining and we enjoyed a gorgeous walk around the lake. It was beautiful. We spent time looking at the amazing wooden sculptures and watching the birds on the lake.

On Friday evening, Megan and Ella along with Ella's boyfriend Frank arrived to spend the weekend with us. We ordered a huge Indian meal from my favourite local Indian restaurant Oruna. I love Oruna, the food is excellent and there are lots of veggie options to choose from...Sag Paneer, Tarka Dahl, Mushroom Bhaji, Chana Dahl and Mushroom Biryani being my favourites. The staff are so lovely and even sent me a card and a bottle of wine to help me celebrate the occasion. Oruna is such an integral part of our little market town, and so involved in the community. So it's perfectly fitting to have Oruna cater my birthday dinner!

The meal was superb and the birthday cake that followed was lovely. I even had candles to blow out while everything sang "Happy Birthday to You".

The next morning we headed off to Alton Towers for mine and Ella's joint birthday weekend. The weather, although forecast to be grim was actually glorious. We booked into the Alton Towers Hotel in two adjoining Moon Landing themed rooms. The rooms are so cool with incredibly detailed decor that made you feel like you are in a Jules Verne novel! Each room also had its own giant teddy bear in it and an XBox games console. The attention to detail is fantastic and makes a stay so much fun.

With our Merlin Annual Passes we had free reign of the park for two days.  The older kids went off to do all the big rides like Thirteen, Nemesis, Air and The Smiler, while Ian and I took Freddy into CBeebies Land. I love what they have done in this corner of the park, elevating Alton Towers to a theme park that pre-schoolers will love just as much as the thrill seeking teenagers. It really is a place for all the family to enjoy. 

Freddy spent ages in the Tree Fu Tom play area tackling climbing walls, cargo nets, the zip wire and the spider rope frame. He unleashed his inner ninja jumping, rolling and overcoming obstacles. Nina's Lab was also a big hit for my science loving schoolboy and he explored all the hands on exhibits. Charlie and Lola's house was another great place to explore, bringing the illustrations of Lauren Child to life in an imaginative and interactive way. With the Driving School, Froghopper, Big Wobble soft play and Carousel rides too, Freddy had a full and exciting day.

Day two was even sunnier! The older kids hit the park to take advantage of the early ride time, following a fantastic buffet breakfast at the hotel.  They took the woodland walk into the theme park.

Meanwhile Ian, Freddy and I went to the Splash Landings Water Park. With the beautiful blue skies and sunshine, going into the outside pool was just too tempting and we had a lovely time relaxing in the warm water whilst feeling the sun on our faces. It felt like being abroad and on holiday.

After a couple of hours of playing in the water park, clambering up cargo nets while jets of water squirted at us and getting soaked by the giant, tipping bucket of water, we were ready to hit the park again. We met up with the older kids and after lunch went on a couple of rides together. Nemesis Sub Terra is my favourite, an immersive, psychological horror ride with a thrilling drop. It's fab!  We also all went on the River Rapids, which is a fast, furious, fun and very wet ride. Thank goodness for the sunny weather, which soon dried us all off!  Freddy finished the day with a ride on the new Octonauts rollercoaster and he loved it. We left the park exhausted but thoroughly happy.

Unfortunately, my girls and Frank had to return to Manchester on the Sunday evening, bringing us all back to reality, but we had an absolutely fantastic time together. I just adore being with my family. It's the most precious thing in the world to me and I am grateful everyday that I have these amazing people in my life.

So far, 46 is turning out to be a pretty good age.

How the Hell am I 46 Today??

I'm 46 today.

46 years old...how on earth can I be 46?

I distinctly remember being the same age as each of my kids are now, with vivid recollections of clothing I wore, things I said, feelings I felt and friends I made. How can those memories be from so long ago?

It seems like only yesterday that I was a teenager, dressing up for a night out. Donning my DM's, my black leather skirt and jacket, I thought I was cooler than Hazel O'Connor, Toyah and Siouxsie Sioux combined. My painted black nails, dark lipstick and back combed hair may not have been the most flattering look, but it was my look and I rocked it.

I was so slim back then too. It didn't matter what I ate, I was naturally skinny. But I was also moody and surly. I was anti-establishment and anti-social. I wanted to save the whale and ban the bomb. Marx was my historical hero and '1984' was my book of choice.

I absorbed myself in the music and lyrics of David Bowie, Bauhaus, The Smiths, The Cure and Echo and the Bunnymen (whilst secretly loving Madonna, Motown and The Carpenters).

Thinking that the peak of my teen years, when I was sixteen years old, ended thirty years ago is hard to believe.

Fast forward to today...I'm rapidly approaching the milestone of having lived for half a century. But I don't feel much older than I did back then. I'm pretty much still the same girl in lots of ways. I'm young at heart with an immature sense of humour and a love of being inappropriate. I laugh at gross out comedies and I still have crushes on the latest silver screen hunks who are probably half my age. Horror movies remain my favourite genre of film, the scarier the better. I refuse to grow old gracefully.

I still like the same eclectic mix of music. I never tell my daughter to turn down her loud music - instead I join in singing and dancing to the latest 5 Seconds of Summer or Panic at the Disco song. I still favour black clothes and I have never evolved into a stylishly dressed woman. Jeans still feature heavily in my outfits of choice. I am still in love with the same lad that I fancied when I was 14, who grew up to be my husband. We have a shared history that spans over three decades and we still embarrassingly fancy each other.

Physically I might not get away with eating what I want anymore and after five kids my natural propensity to natural slimness is nothing more than a distant memory. My face has lost that tight, tautness of youth and gravity is becoming a more difficult thing for my saggy bits to overcome. My hair is losing the battle against the grey, but I am learning to love my silver highlights rather than denying this natural part of the ageing process. But you can still see that the me of my youth is the same me that I am now.

The biggest difference in me today, compared to that mardy teenager, is that I am happy. Really, really happy and content. Age brings the wisdom and maturity to realise what is really important in this life. For me, being surrounded by love is what makes my life worthwhile. Feeling loved and giving love in return. Doing what I can to make the lives of my loved ones as happy and fulfilled as I possibly can. It may sound twee, but it's the truth.

So as my biological clock ticks into the start of its 47th year, I enter this new phase of my life with a positive outlook and a determination to live my life to the best of my ability. I am truly blessed to find myself at 46 with five children who genuinely fill me with pride everyday and who consider me a friend as well as a mother, and a husband who completes me.

Bring on being 46, because right now I really like who I am, where I am and whom I am with.

The Name Ella Means Light

Happy 81st Birthday to my Mum

"No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you - life."

My beautiful mother

I am eternally grateful.

Thank you for being you.

I love you so much Mum. 

xxx

Happy 12th Birthday Kizzy

"Kezia, I love you for the gorgeous little girl that you were, for the wonderful young woman you are now and for the precious daughter you will always be."

Happy Birthday to my beautiful girl  xxx

Freddy is 5 Today!

It was 5.56pm on July 9th 2009 that I gave birth to my son Freddy.  Weighing in at 9lb 10oz, this little boy was destined to bring a whole new dimension of love and joy into our hearts.  With three doting big sisters and a big brother, he has been surrounded by affection and attention from the very start.  We have seen him develop into a beautiful, confident, outgoing little lad, overcoming every hurdle with his determined spirit.  He makes us laugh with his cheeky sense of humour, entertains us with his singing and dancing and fills our days with laughter, pride and fun.  

He loves watching videos on YouTube (he knows the words to Dumb Ways to Die in both English and Italian).  He likes Nerf Guns, wooden swords and water pistols.  He enjoys Wii Sport boxing and playing Plants vs Zombies on my phone.  He likes his sandpit, swing and slide and playing out doors. His love of strawberries, grapes, egg whites, cheese pizza, tomato soup and porridge stops me worrying about how fussy he is when it comes to eating a hot meal at dinnertime  His reading, writing and drawing skills have just taken off after a very slow start (my age and experience has taught me not to worry - he'll get there in his own time!) Freddy loves to join in with things and makes friends with other children wherever we go. He loves to snuggle with me in my bed in the mornings and the feel of his soft hair against my cheek, as he nestles close to me, remains one of my favourite moments of the day.

Having a child in my forties, I worried about whether I'd be able to keep up with him, but this boy keeps me young at heart and on my toes. He has reminded me of what is important in my life, has taught me so much about myself and has consequently given me a more relaxed outlook on things.  He is an absolute blessing and I am eternally grateful that I get to be his mummy!

Happy 5th birthday to my little man!

A First Birthday Party

Today is my grandson Ted's first birthday.  My own son's little boy is a whole year old already.  It doesn't seem that long ago that I was waiting anxiously for the phone call that would let me know that my son had become a daddy.  Since then I have watched Joe become a wonderful father, which is something that makes me incredibly proud.

The milestone of Ted's first birthday has made me think of when Joe turned one.  My tiny baby boy whose journey into the world was so traumatic and distressing for both of us, went on to thrive.  By a year old he was a boisterous, mischievous and highly spirited little boy.  Traits that have stayed with him for the last 25 years!  

Joe's first birthday was a Garfield themed affair with everything coloured orange like Garfield the cat.  I made a Garfield shaped cake using a special tin and iced it with orange and brown buttercream.  I vividly remember doing it even though it was over two decades ago.  Everyone wore orange garlands around their necks and there were balloons and themed tableware.  A perfect day for my little man to mark his first birthday.

Here is Joe pictured with his lovely Nana on his first birthday back in 1989.

I hope that Joe makes some wonderful memories with his little boy today.  Memories that will last a lifetime.  The time spent with your children is just so precious. Thinking back on all the moments spent laughing, playing and having fun,  never fails to raise a smile. Life is so much richer because of the special moments that we spend with loved ones.

I almost got to host a birthday party for Ted this year, but sadly it never happened.  I'd baked and decorated the cake, bought the buffet food, invited the guests, decorated the house, had the "1" candle just waiting to be lit and blown out to make a wish- but unfortunately Joe had to cancel the visit at the last minute.  Leaving us with a birthday party all ready to go just without the guest of honour.

However, the party went ahead in Ted's absence and we had a wonderful time on his behalf.  Megan, my parents, my niece and her baby decided to still come.  We re-branded it as a 'Fake Christmas' party.  We all got to spend a lovely afternoon fussing over my gorgeous great-nephew instead of the birthday boy.  It was a shame not to have Joe and Ted there, but we will be seeing them at Christmas for some belated birthday hugs.

I hope Ted has a lovely day today being spoiled and having lots and lots of fun with his family.  Joe has had a bit of a tough time lately, following a nasty car crash on the M1 a couple of weeks ago. I hope that spending today with his little boy will be just the tonic he needs to get back to his old self again.  Nothing is as important as family.  The family that you choose to have around you, those who make life worth living, bringing love, laughter and happiness.  Making you the best version of yourself that you can be.  That is the greatest thing in the whole world.

Happy Birthday Ted xxx

Broccoli, Mushroom and Cheese Pie Recipe

For my mum's birthday last week, I spent the day spoiling her!  She enjoyed homemade chocolate and marshmallow teacakes, a Mocha birthday cake and a birthday meal of homemade pie, mashed potato, carrots and swede with gravy.  

The pie I made was another of my open topped, puff pastry pies, filled with a cheesy, broccoli, mushroom and spinach filling.  It's quick, easy and really tasty.  I love making these pies because you can use up anything you have in the fridge along with a sheet of ready rolled puff pastry and you're sorted!  It makes a really hearty, comforting meal, perfect for this time of year without being too heavy.

Recipe

1 sheet of Jus rol pastry

1 crown of Broccoli

4 cubes of frozen spinach

100 g button mushrooms sliced

4 large Portobello mushrooms sliced 

2 cloves garlic crushed

1 teaspoon mixed herbs

half a tub of cream cheese

75g grated cheese (I used smoked cheddar but Stilton would be perfect)

Ground pepper

Method

Cut the broccoli into florets and boil for about 5 minutes.

Fry the mushrooms and garlic in a pan until softened.

Add the defrosted spinach cubes.

Add the cooked, strained broccoli florets.

When all cooked through and combined reduce heat and stir through the cream cheese.

Add grated cheese and seasonings and stir.

Remove from heat when combined.

Put pastry on a baking sheet.

Put filling in the centre.

Fold up edges.

Glaze with milk.

Put in pre-heated oven at GM6 for about 20-25 minutes.

Serve with mash and vegetables for a wonderful comforting autumnal meal!


And here is a photo of the Mocha birthday cake; marbled chocolate and coffee flavoured sponge with chocolate fudge icing, coffee glace icing, grated chocolate and mini malted chocolate balls to finish.  It was lush!

Happy Birthday to My Beautiful Mum

I have a beautiful mum.  Quite literally, she was and still is a beautiful woman, both inside and out.  She is one of the strongest women I have ever known, although she probably wouldn't think that of herself.  She underestimates her strengths and fails to see just how amazing she is.  But I can quite clearly see how brilliant my mum is and how proud I am to be her daughter.

 My mum was born in 1933, so is eighty years old today.  She is as strong as an ox and in excellent health.  Her dress sense is inspirational and puts me to shame.  Colour co-ordination, layering and accessorising come second nature to my fashionable mum.  She always looks fabulous whether she is dressed up or in her rather trendy jeans.  She will be an octogenarian style icon for sure!

I love that my mum has embraced social media so that she can stay in touch with her grandchildren and find out what they are all getting up to on Facebook.  She truly is a silver surfer!  She is a regular reader of my blog and leaves me brilliant comments which never fail to make me smile.  Although she doubts her technical ability, I think it is great that she uses her computer, surfs the web, enters competitions and sends Facebook messages.  Sometimes it goes a little bit wrong and a comment will go in the wrong place or a private message will appear in everyone's newsfeed, but that simply adds to the charm.

My mum has thirteen grandchildren and two great grandsons.  She is a brilliant Nan to my children, who absolutely adore her.  She revels in her role as a grandparent making cakes, knitting blankets and reading stories.  She does a top job.

Although she is a very demure lady who minds her P & Q's in public, my mum has an obsession with films filled with violence, blood, guts and gore.  The more brutal the better.  I Spit on Your Grave and Deathwish rate among her favourites. But she also loves her soaps and Downton Abbey and Strictly.  I love that complete contrast in her personality!

I am closer to my mum nowadays than I have ever been before and for that I am eternally grateful.  I love spending time with her, chatting, gossiping and laughing.  I wouldn't swap our time together for the world. We get on so well.  My current relationship with my mum makes me feel valued, loved and respected.  This is the ultimate gift a mother can give to her child, giving her daughter self belief and self worth.  Even at my age I want to feel validated by my mother's love, and I am blessed to have that.

So thank you mum for everything.  Happy 80th birthday.  I hope that when I am your age I am as strong, as well loved, as fashionable, as down-with-the-kids, as open to new things, as full of surprises, as happy and as passionate about life as you are.  I love you xxx

My Daughter Megan is 22 Today

Today my daughter is 22 years old.  Megan entered the world on November the tenth, 1991.  My pregnancy was not a happy one nor a healthy one.  But the outcome was perfect.  I had my baby girl, a sister to her big brother Joseph.  It was the three of us against the world.  My children gave me the strength and the motivation I needed to build a good life.

My little girl has grown up into a beautiful woman.  Someone who I am proud to call my daughter and am honoured to have in my life.  She is clever, funny, driven, confident, hard working, beautiful and strong.  For medical reasons, Megan is now a committed vegan and dedicated gym user.  She does not see this change in her lifestyle as a restriction, instead it has given her wings.  She is an inspiration to me.

Megan has made a great life for herself in Manchester, after graduating with a Business degree a year early, embracing city life and everything  it represents.  I am really in awe of how well she has done for herself. She has amazing plans for her future which I am very excited to see come to fruition.  Megan creates her own success and has the determination to get what she wants in life.  I never had this drive and I have to admit that I am enjoying it vicariously, as I watch my daughter grab life with both hands.

She makes me and her dad so proud. She is a fantastic sibling to her two brothers and two sisters.  She is a caring grand-daughter to her grandparents.  She is my friend and she's pretty, bloody awesome!

I love you Megan.

Happy Birthday xxx

                  

Happy 81st Birthday Daddy

My dad was born on November 9th 1932, making today his 81st birthday.  He has been married to my mum for almost sixty years and their relationship is still so full of love that it is an inspiration to me in my own marriage.  My dad is a sensitive soul who feels deeply and keeps memories alive in his heart and in his mind. He is so utterly loved and cherished by me and the kids. We are honoured to have him in our lives.

As a child I saw my dad as the biggest, strongest, tallest man in the world.  He was a larger than life character, and although my childhood wasn't always easy I always sought my dad's affection and was a real daddy's girl.  

Nowadays, my relationship with my dad is the best it's ever been.  I love his fortnightly visits where I get to take care of him and spoil him.  He suffers with terrible arthritis in his legs, which he blames on years playing football and marching on parade in the Coldstream Guards.  I do what I can to help, even if that means just being able to put a blanket over his knees or order him arthritis remedies over the internet!  It's the very least I can do for the man who has loved me for the past 44 and a half years.

My girls love my dad so much.  They love fussing over him.  Their loving and caring natures make me so proud of them.  I'm so glad they have got such a close relationship with their grandparents.

My son named his first child after his great grandad, giving him Stanley as his middle name.  As I gave Joe my dad's name too, it has become a nice tradition in our family - singlehandedly bringing back the name Stanley! 

Freddy is not the easiest child.  He takes a while to get close to people and is far more comfortable with females, but my dad is unperturbed.  He continues to build a relationship with his grandson.  It is heartwarming to see them doing something together and it always makes my dad so happy when he has a breakthrough with Fred. As Freddy gets older, he is much more receptive to my dad's jokey nature!  Last week Freddy made my Dad a flag and let him take it home with him.  My Dad treasures it!

So Dad...have a wonderful birthday today and remember just how loved and cherished you are by us all - Ian, the grandkids and me!  Thank you for being so wonderful :)

Remembering My Sister

I don't think that a single day has gone by when I haven't thought about my sister.  I have held tightly onto her memory, preserving forever in my mind the way she spoke, the sound of her laugh, how she felt, the heaviness of her thick hair, her sense of humour and the way she made me feel that I wanted to be exactly like her.

Today would have been her 54th birthday. Had she lived, I'm pretty sure she'd still be the same Carol that I idolised. She was the joker, the larger than life character, the life and soul of any event who had the incredible talent of making you feel like you were the important and special one.  I miss her so much that even now 18 years on, if I think about all the years spent without her, times together that have been lost, the tears come all too easily.

With every joyous celebration and with every heartbreak we have shared as a family, there has been something missing, someone missing.  That will never go away.  The empty space is ever present.

Her passing opened my eyes to the frailty of life and our own mortality.  A sobering realisation and something I found very difficult to deal with as I was pregnant at the time of her illness. Creating a new life as my sister's time on this earth ebbed away.  It was too cruel an irony.  But I went on to deliver the beautiful baby girl who took my sister's name as her own. In memory of the auntie she never had the honour of meeting or the pleasure in knowing.

I know that Carol's energy is still burning brightly. She's still here, a part of her own children and now a part of her first grandchild. I take such pleasure in that.  Holding my beautiful great nephew in my arms, I felt the connection and knew that she was there.  Part of his genetic make-up. Part of his very soul.  It is a comfort to me.

Life continues and the world keeps on spinning, but I will never, ever forget.

I'll raise a glass of red wine in your memory tonight.

I recently found this photo of myself as a baby with my big sister, in a collection of old family snaps.  I'd never seen it before and discovering it really made my day.  I love how happy I look on my big sister's lap.

For Kezia x

2nd October 2002.

My newborn baby girl.

My ray of sunshine.

My gift to the world.

My blessing.

Eleven years later.
My beautiful girl with empathy in bucket loads, a beautiful spirit and a heart of gold.
She makes me proud everyday.
A loving sibling, a wonderful auntie, a brilliant granddaughter and an adorable daughter.
Still my ray of sunshine.
Still my gift to the world.
Still my blessing.

Happy Birthday Kizzy xxx

Happy 17th Birthday Ella

From the moment you were born, you have been special.  Your name means "bright light" and this is what you have brought into our lives. Today, my beautiful daughter, you are seventeen years old.  You have so much to look forward to, so many adventures ahead. I fully intend to cherish every moment of my wonderful girl while you still live at home. You don't realise what an amazing young woman you have become.  I hope this is the year that you learn to understand just how incredible you really are. 

I love your music and listening to you sing and play the guitar.  I love how much you adore your brothers and sisters.  I love that you are such a fangirl when it comes to The Killers, Disney, John Green or Darren Criss.  I love how clever you are and how you teach me about psychology so I can understand too.  I love watching films and our favourite TV shows together.  I love your smile.  I love your enthusiasm for things.  Your passion for dystopia novels. Your love of reading.  I love your fabulous hair.  I love your hugs.  I love how you are so strong, even though you are fragile. I love how you wanted a John Green/Rainbow/Killers mash-up birthday cake and that my attempt made you happy. I love that you love me. I love you Ella.

Occasion Smurfs from Schleich

Ever since the release of the Smurfs movie, the little blue fellas have proved quite a hit with my kids.  The prospect of the second movie this year will only add to their love of all things Smurf.  So when I received a collection of Smurf figures from Schleich, the children were very happy!

The collection includes: Valentine's Day Smurf; Sorry Smurf; Happy Birthday Smurf; Bride & Groom Smurf; Baby Smurf; Thank You Smurf; Get Well Soon Smurf and Party Smurfette.

Each cute little character is posed with an accessory befitting the occasion they represent.  The fun Party Smurfette comes in her own cocktail glass, Valentine's Day Smurf is holding a big love heart shaped box of chocolates behind his back and Happy Birthday Cake has a cupcake with a candle and a party hat.  The attention to detail, from the expressions on their face to their posture is perfect to convey their special messages.

These Smurfs would make a great alternative to a card for a special occasion, or could be used as a cake topper.  The Bride and Groom Smurf would look very smart sat on top of a cake celebrating the wedding of two Smurf fans!  Baby Smurf in his nappy and with a dummy in his mouth is a lovely memento to celebrate a baby being born and makes a cute little keepsake.

As with all Schleich's ranges, the Smurfs are well made, hand painted with exceptional detail and are well designed, bringing each character to life.  They would make a great collection for Smurf fans or will stand alone as a small gift for a special occasion.

The Smurfs are available from Amazon with prices starting from £3.39

Flashback Friday - My Son Joe at 24

This week it was my son Joe's 24th birthday.  I still find it amazing that I have adult children, it seems like only yesterday that he was my little boy.  He was such a funny, energetic little lad, always up to mischief. Now he is a successful young man...even though he has not grown out of his mischief making!

He was quite a demanding little baby after his stressful birth.

But he grew into such a funny toddler who was always getting into funny situations and trying to make us all laugh.

Joe was a cheeky school boy.

He loved his football and his sports.

He's always been a good big brother.

We missed him so much when he moved out of the family home to live with his girlfriend at 21. 

Today Joe is at such an exciting point in his life.  He has a great job working in IT.  He is engaged to his lovely girlfriend and they are expecting their first baby in ten weeks time.  My baby is about to have his own baby.  My son is about to become a dad.

I hope that my son enjoys every second of being a dad, as I have enjoyed every second of being his mum.  At times there have been challenges.  I was a teenage mum on my own with my baby boy, but we muddled through and our little family went from strength to strength.  I've watched my son grow into an amazing young man.  He has given me so many reasons to be proud of him.  He is a wonderful big brother.  He is incredibly funny and always makes us all laugh.  He is loving and caring.  Sometimes he drives us a bit mad, but he wouldn't be Joe if he was 100% sensible all the time! 

This is going to be a big year for Joe.  I can't wait to support him through the next step of his life journey and see him as he becomes to a daddy to his own little boy.  I don't expect it'll all be plain sailing, but he knows that we will be here for him all the way!