Happy Father's Day to my Children's Daddy

Once upon a time I was a single parent with a 3 year old son and a new baby girl. Although being a 22 year old with two kids wasn't easy, being a mum defined me, giving me something to live for and to strive for. I didn't need any one else aside from my son and my daughter. With two terrible failed relationships behind me, the part of me that could love or trust again was more than a little broken. I focused all my effort and energy into doing the best for my children. Building a life for us and protecting them from the hurt I had endured.

I could never have known that I would be sharing my life with someone again so soon. That within a year someone would take my wounded heart and fix it. Someone who would teach me how to live and how to love.

You came along. My best friend for so many years. Offering me the unconditional support and friendship that had been missing from my previous relationships. Opening my eyes to how it felt to be respected, cherished and  loved. It was inevitable that our friendship would become something more and I knew that you were an honest, decent, trustworthy man with a good heart - a man that I could let into my children's lives.

So you became the father figure that they had never had. A man that they could love and trust, who would never let them down. Who would put their needs first. Who would love their mum and never hurt her.

Over the next few years we saw the arrival of a daughter. We got married and welcomed another little girl and a son into our family. We built a home and saw our love grow deeper and deeper, as we shared our lives together.

Today is Father's Day.

On this day I need to let you know just how amazing a man you are. What you have given me can never be quantified. Because you have given me myself. You made me whole and gave me the chance to be the best person I could ever be, But more than that, you gave my children the very best dad that they could ever wish for. Literally.

I have never known a dad like you. Nothing is too much trouble for you when it comes to your family. The things you have done for all five of our children goes so far beyond the call of duty. You are selfless. You are kind, fair, respectful and supportive. You love unconditionally, with all of your heart. You have fun with them, enjoying their company and time spent together. You give them the tools to be better people and let them see how a real man behaves. They are so lucky to have you.

If I could have known what life my two eldest children would enjoy thanks to me being with you, that scared 22 year old girl that I was, would have never wasted a tear , felt any regret or sorrow or feared for our futures. Everything bad that I had endured up to that point in my life was worth my suffering. Because my journey led me to you. Has led me to where we are now, with five miraculous children and a wonderful life together.

Thank you for allowing me to give my children a dad like you. It has been the very best gift I could ever have given to them. The best gift for a mother to give to her children. A role model, a hero, a shoulder to cry on and someone to trust. A strong pair of arms to hold them and the knowledge that they will always have someone who puts their needs above their own.

I only have to look at my incredible, successful, confident and loving older kids to know that your parenting has influenced their lives in such a positive way. You gave them a love that transcended biology, allowing them to rewrite the futures they may have otherwise had. Our three younger children are just as wonderful, knowing nothing but the unconditional love of two parents who are very much in love with each other. The five of them are as close as siblings can be and fill us with such pride and joy everyday.

We did this together Ian, but I am forever grateful to you. You gave me the chance to live this life and to give our children all the things that they need to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. That is a true blessing.

Happy Birthday to my Grandson Ted

It's hard to believe that it was a whole two years ago that I was waiting anxiously for a message from my son Joe, to tell us that his baby son had been born.  When a photograph finally arrived to my mobile I burst into tears of joy, pride and relief, knowing that Joe had become a daddy, and that mother and baby were doing well.  So started a brand new phase of my life, where I became a grandma to baby Ted, welcoming a brand new generation into our family.

Happy birthday to my cheeky, boisterous, sweet and funny little grandson Ted.  We love you xxx

And just because I love a bit of reflection and nostalgia, here is a photograph of my own little boy Joe on his second birthday in 1990, ready to dive into his Dennis the Menace birthday cake! 

How becoming a mother shaped my life - Happy Birthday Joe x

My eldest child Joe is 26 years old today.  The little boy I raised is now a man.  A man that I am proud to call my son.

When I gave birth to Joe, I was little more than a child myself.  A teenager with no direction, floundering through life making a series of mistakes and bad judgments.  But having Joe gave me the incentive and the strength I needed to grow up and to heal myself, in order to become someone worthy of being his mother. He made me whole for the first time, giving me purpose and making me want more for myself and for him.  That tiny 7 lb 1 oz baby saved me.

Over the years my son has taught me many things about myself, about life and about parenthood.  We didn't always have it easy, but together we muddled through as best we knew how.  Sometimes I look back and wish that Joe could have enjoyed the charmed existence that his little brother Freddy has now. But the journey we took back then has made us the people we are today.  And who we are today has been shaped by everything we experienced together.

I do have regrets about my past, but I wouldn't change a single thing, because anything done differently would have altered the path that I ultimately took.  The path that has lead me to who and what I am today.  The path that has blessed me with five incredible children along with the richness they have brought into my world.  The path that gave my children the most amazing father they could have ever wished for.  The path that has given them a mother who is hopefully, in their eyes, worthy of that title. The path that has lead my son Joe to become an amazing man with his own beautiful family, a promising career and a sense of humour that never ceases to make me smile.

Joe is a man I am proud to call my son.  The father of my first born grandchild.  Big brother to the girls and Freddy. A man who I have watched grow as a person, learning from his mistakes and evolving into a more responsible, hard working, loving, hilariously funny, unique human being with a passion for cars, computer gaming, playing football and for providing for his family.

Joe, I love you.

Happy birthday son xxx

Recreating Old Family Photos for my Birthday

I have wonderful kids who surprise me, delight me and make me proud everyday. My girls really excelled themselves this year for my birthday by making me a video, which made me bawl my eyes out.

I was aware of a 'secret project' taking place over the last week or so, but I tried to ignore it, not wanting to ruin my own surprise.  To be honest I thought maybe they were maybe taking some photos for a card or something, but their idea was far more elaborate.

They wrote and recorded an original song and made a video featuring recreated family photos.  It was just so beautiful and so very thoughtful.  They did such a great job and included big brother Joe, who contributed to the project remotely, and little brother Freddy too.  I am so lucky to have kids who understand the things that make me happy...and nothing makes me happier than them.

Just seeing how much they have all grown, but how the relationship between them is still as close and how their personalities still shine through is just beautiful.  I'm definitely going to get involved in more recreations with them and am looking forward to joining in with the posing as we re-imagine precious memories.

Here is the video that they played for me on my birthday :)