Introducing Callie - the newest member of the clan

On November 5th, my son Joe and his wife Jade (from Late For Reality) made Ian and I proud grandparents for the second time with the birth of their beautiful daughter Callie.

Weighing in at just 6 lb 14 oz, Callie is an adorably tiny little girl with a spattering of dark hair and the longest toes I have ever seen on a newborn. She is content, alert and so very snuggly. Just perfect.

We couldn't be prouder of Jade and Joe and are so grateful to them both for giving us the honour of being Nana Wendy and Guitar Grandad again. Jade did an amazing job making sure that she had the birth that she wanted, showing a real strength and determination. We are equally proud of our grandson Ted who has taken his new role as big brother in his stride. He is a credit to his mummy and daddy.

Family really is everything to me, and I adore each and every one of our ever growing clan!

The Evolution of Nana Wendy

If I'm honest, I've never been much of a baby person. Yes I admit, cuddling a newborn baby is a precious experience and they do smell delicious, but they also seem so fragile and they basically sleep for most of the time. If they are not sleeping, they are feeding or pooping or crying. There may be a few magical moments in between but mostly a little baby does what little babies do 24/7. I've always preferred the toddler stage. Toddlers are feisty, interactive, robust, cheeky and full of fun. They can chatter to you, understand you and they choose if they want to spend their time with you or not! You get to see their developing personalities and build a genuine relationship with them, where love and trust will be nurtured and grown into something genuine and beautiful.

My grandson Ted is getting close to his third birthday. He is now at the age where I can really enjoy him as a little person in his own right, and not just as an extension of his mum and dad. As a baby, I saw him as my son's child, delighting in the new role my son Joe was embarking on, which filled me with such immense pride. My own connection with Ted was through Joe, and amazing as that was, I felt slightly on the periphery, looking in on this miracle unfolding in my son's life. We live too far away to have been able to be a permanent feature in Ted's early days, so my grandparenting was done remotely rather than being hands on. Every time we visited, I'd look for a sign that he remembered me or knew who I was, forever hoping that the family bond would grow even in my absence.

I spent this weekend with my son Joe, his fiance Jade and my grandson Ted. We visited Alton Towers and had a fab time. Our favourite ride was the River Rapids, with all us in one of the round boats getting splashed and squirted as we whizzed through the water. It was so much fun watching Ted experience these things for the first time. On the Sunday morning I was woken up by Freddy and Ted bashing me with foam swords (little monkeys were being egged on by Joe of course!). Then at lunchtime, we all sat around the table to enjoy a family roast dinner together.

These are the days I have been waiting for, ever since the day I found out that I was going to be a gran. Ted is full on, energetic, boisterous and funny. He makes me laugh with his antics and leaves a trail of toddler-made destruction in his wake as he runs around, a little boy on a mission to explore, learn and play. He is everything I imagined and hoped my grandson could be. He may look just like his mum, but his personality is so much like his dad's in so many ways!

When he squeezes his chubby little hand into mine so we can walk along together, or when his little voice calls me Nana Wendy or he calls Ian 'Guitar Grandad', or when he says 'I love you', I just melt. He knows exactly who we all are. He enjoys being with us and his laughter and smiles are infectious. Ted told me stories, played lots of fighting games with his Daddy and his Uncle Freddy, enjoyed dressing up and having his face painted as a skeleton and generally made himself completely at home with us. He is comfortable here and he understands that we are family and we love him. This is how I dreamed grantparenthood would be and for Ted, he now knows and understands his place in our family, and realises just how adored he is.

I am honoured to be his Nana Wendy.

Help! I'm a Granny and Galaxy Quick Reads - Book Reviews

Help! I'm a Granny

Two years ago, I made the generation leap and became a granny to my adorable little grandson Ted,  my eldest son Joe's little boy.  Becoming a granny was in equal measure quite a shock (I was only 43 and it seemed like only yesterday that Joe was being peeled off of my legs by his infant school teacher because he didn't want to leave my side) and an absolute joy!  Seeing my own little boy (OK 26 isn't that little, but he'll always be my baby) becoming a father and making a life of his own in the big wide world, really puts the passing of time into perspective.  Ted's arrival into our family came when my own youngest child Freddy was only 3 years old, so I was juggling being a mum to my own little one with becoming a granny.  So I was never going to be the old school Nana, sat in her rocking chair knitting baby blankets for my grandbabies.  Instead, the generation gap blurred and we all muck in together in our big, crazy and exceptionally wonderful extended family that is filled with love and laughter!

Finding out that you are going to be a grandparent and making that mental transition into your new role can seem a bit daunting at times. Knowing how best to be supportive and offer advice without interfering can see you walking a fine line at times.  Defining your role, especially when there is another Nana on the scene, who in our case lives in the same town as my son, his fiance and Ted, who gets to see them much more than I do as I live 2 hours away, can take some soul searching. Wanting to be more involved is difficult when distance is part of the equation. But I know that the part I am playing in my grandson's life is every bit as valuable, and the relationship I have with Ted is becoming more and more rewarding as he gets older.  Having Ted and Freddy close in age gives me a special bond with my future daughter-in-law, as we can relate to being mummies together.

For anyone else going through the same experience and becoming a first time granny, the book Help! I'm a Granny may prove an invaluable companion.  Written by newspaper columist and agony aunt Flic Everett, it is a comprehensive guide to becoming and being a gran, written in a friendly, light hearted and informal way.  It's like sharing your worries, your guilt and your jealousy with a friend. The real life stories make it feel very personal.

It is laid out in easy to navigate sections with practical lists, true stories, quizzes and instructions. Some of the chapters did seem a little like teaching your granny to suck eggs, but I am still a mum to a little one so haven't forgotten how to feed a baby, tackle a tantrum or pack a changing bag.  But if it has been years since you were a hands on mummy, the bitesize advice may prove invaluable.  There is also a dummy's guide to technology that own my mum would find really useful, explaining the pros and cons of social media and apps for staying in touch.

The quizzes are quite fun.  It turns out I'm a 'Cool Gran' and a 'Rebel Granny'...I'll totally take that!

Help! I'm a Granny would make a great gift for any soon to be grandparents or would make a useful, easy reading handbook for yourself when you find yourself about to be a gran. It makes you feel like you are not alone and gives you some different perspectives on the emotions, responsibilities and joys of being a granny!

Hardback £9.99
Publication date: February 19th 2015


Galaxy Quick Reads

If you enjoy reading but are struggling to find the time to get stuck into a novel, then check out the new Galaxy Quick Reads.  Written by best selling authors, they are like their real books, but shorter. They are also excellent introductions into reading, for adults who find the prospect of tackling a full length book intimidating.

The titles are:

Dead Man Talking - Roddy Doyle

Paris for Two One - Jojo Moyes

Red for Revenge -Fanny Blake

Pictures or it Didn't Happen - Sophie Hannah

Out Of The Dark - Adéle Geras

Street Can Bob - James Bowen

Galaxy Quick Reads are bite-sized books written by best-selling authors which cost only £1. They are available from bookshops, supermarkets and online or can be borrowed from libraries across the country. They are also available as eBooks across all major eBook platforms. For more information visit www.quickreads.org.uk. 

Happy Birthday to my Grandson Ted

It's hard to believe that it was a whole two years ago that I was waiting anxiously for a message from my son Joe, to tell us that his baby son had been born.  When a photograph finally arrived to my mobile I burst into tears of joy, pride and relief, knowing that Joe had become a daddy, and that mother and baby were doing well.  So started a brand new phase of my life, where I became a grandma to baby Ted, welcoming a brand new generation into our family.

Happy birthday to my cheeky, boisterous, sweet and funny little grandson Ted.  We love you xxx

And just because I love a bit of reflection and nostalgia, here is a photograph of my own little boy Joe on his second birthday in 1990, ready to dive into his Dennis the Menace birthday cake! 

Getting old isn't all bad!

I'm getting old.  But it isn't all bad.  It definitely has its perks.

Seeing the results of my years of parenting all grown-up and doing so well, makes me feel every single moment was worth it.  From the sleepless nights to the tantrums to the school runs to the heartbreaks and beyond, I know it has all worked out OK and I must have done a pretty good job for the past 26 years. My three grown-up kids make me immensely proud.  Joe balances being a career man with being a family man. His hands on approach to being a dad is wonderful to witness. Seeing your own child as a parent is such a humbling experience.

Megan is following her dreams and is involved in TV and film production. Just a few months ago she took a huge gamble and quit her job in marketing. It hasn't taken her long to make her mark in the industry, starting off as an unpaid runner, gaining a good reputation and being recommended for work.  She's currently working for the BBC and can add working with John Hurt to her CV. Her determination and ambition inspires me so much.

Ella is in the middle of her A'Levels and is off to university in September. She's got an exciting future ahead. Our house will be so much emptier without her, but I am so excited to see her take this huge step and will be supporting her all the way.  I'll still have my two youngest at home to keep me busy, and we will enjoy visiting everyone at weekends!

Not only am I a grandparent, I am also an incredibly proud Great Auntie (aka Grauntie because it sounds so much cooler!) I am loving the new generation of little people who are taking their place on my family tree, and the promise of future grandchildren, great nephews and great nieces thrills me to bits.

However there is absolutely no denying the fact that my body is ageing, changing and entering a new phase of my life.  My hair is gradually losing the battle of the grey but I absolutely refuse to start dying it.  My natural hair colour is almost black and the root/dye contrast will be just too stark. So I have to get used to the white hairs sprouting where once dark hair grew. I convince myself that the interlopers, stripped of their youthful tones are silver highlights.  It sounds so much more glamorous!

I look at Ian, the man I have known for over 30 years, my husband of 17 years.  He has crinkles around his eyes, his beard is salt and pepper and his back doesn't hold out as well as it did a decade ago.  But when I look at those laughter lines and grey hairs I see someone I am honoured to grow old with.  He always told me he wanted to grow old with me, and here we are hitting our mid forties together and still very much in love. We are still both young at heart, we adore our family and we pride ourselves on still being "down with the kids"!

We don't plan to let the onset of old age bulldoze over us anytime soon.  We have embarked on a huge overhaul of our vegetarian diets.  We eat cleaner now and actively embrace healthy eating.  We have ditched all the processed rubbish, the refined sugars, dairy products and chemical additives and opened our eyes to the joys of fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, cooking meals from scratch and finding healthy alternatives in our choice of carbohydrates. We are really enjoying getting creative with courgette 'noodles' and cauliflower 'rice'!

In the scheme of things, these are small changes but they made a great difference to our lives.  I have lost weight without 'dieting' and some health issues I was having such as dizzy spells, extreme tiredness and hormonal imbalances seem to have completely gone. (I blame too much refined sugar and a Pepsi Max addiction for the symptoms, so eliminating both from my diet has helped enormously!)

Our advancing years are not something to fear or dread.  They hold the promise of many more wonderful adventures.  Watching our five children forging their paths in the world, embracing the next generation of our family and enjoying entering the autumn of my years with the man I love.

Grandparenting for Beginners

I never really appreciated how it would feel to become a grandparent.  Having had my first born son as a 19 year old, it was always on the cards that I would be a young granny.  At 43 I have found myself taking my role in the generation shift that occurred following the birth of baby Ted.

I never doubted that my son Joe would be a wonderful dad.  He has been an amazing big brother to his four siblings, the youngest of whom is three year old Freddy.  He has grown up with little people around him and has always demonstrated the skills necessary to be a dad himself one day.  So when I got the phone call telling me that his girlfriend was pregnant, I had no concerns about his ability to care for and support his new family.

Throughout the pregnancy I shared Joe's thoughts, dreams, hopes and fears.  I was thrilled for him, knowing he was going to experience the greatest love of his life.  He didn't understand this until Ted was born.  Understanding that feeling made him understand my love for him.  A whole host of puzzle pieces fell into place, consolidating the relationship we had.  I felt such utter pride in my son knowing that he had reached this point in his life and was facing this new responsibilty with a maturity and enthusiasm that was humbling.

But what about me?  What about my new role, my new responsibilities?

Meeting that baby boy was magical.  When you have your own child you are so wrapped up in the enormity of being a parent that it consumes you.  As a grandparent, you are a step away from that.  You get to look at that child and see his place in the greater picture.  You look at that beautiful face and see reflections of the generations that have come before.  You feel wonder at the emergence of a brand new generation and feel the boundaries of your genetic immortality push further outwards.

I live two hours away from my grandson.  I don't get to see him very often, but I know he is there thriving, growing, becoming who he is destined to be.  I feel his presence in my life, as I do my older children who are no longer living here with me.  They are all a part of me.  I am a part of them.  Physical distance is never a barrier to love.

I wonder if he will 'know' me, recognise his paternal family.  See himself in our faces, our mannerisms, our quirks.  Will our morals, values and beliefs influence him, help shape his future? Will he love us?  

One thing is for certain though, my son's child is a precious gift to our family.  He has been born surrounded by loving great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, uncles and aunties.  We all have his best interests at heart and will do all we can to give this little boy the best start in life.  He is pathing the way to the future for our families.

I know that I will miss out on seeing much of my grandson's day to day life.  I know he now smiles and kicks his legs around as he watches Ben on Holly on TV.  I know he wakes up at 6am and goes to his daddy for a cuddle which makes daddy so happy before he goes to work.  I know he sits with his dad while he plays his online games, and daddy secretly hopes he will grow up to be a games geek too!  Although I don't witness these things first hand, I hear about them and share in the pleasure of my grandson's development.  I know the joy that Joe is experiencing being Ted's dad.  

I was worried before he was born that I would somehow feel jealous of his maternal grandmother who gets to see him everyday.  She lives close by and is very close to her daughter so it is only natural that she will get the lion's share of time with our grandson. She was there when he was born and is very involved in his life.  Instead, I am so glad he will have a close relationship with her, someone he can rely on, be loved by and trust.  He is a lucky lad.

The relationship he has with me will inevitably be very different.  I will be the one he sees once a month, which is how often we try to get down there.  I won't be involved in discipline, routines or everyday things as a rule.  I will however be there for the fun stuff, outings, meals out, special days and holidays.  Hopefully I will have a role in his life that brings a bit of extra colour and an opportunity to do things our way. Every moment will be cherished, that's for sure!

Grandparenting is definitely going to be a learning curve.  Learning my place, my responsibilities and my role in this little person's life.  Knowing when not to overstep the mark.  Knowing when to speak out and when to stay silent.  Hoping that this baby boy will love me and make memories with me, like my children have been privileged to do with my parents. I will  be there for him, and any future grandchildren that I am blessed with,  in any capacity that I am needed.  I feel honoured to have this opportunity and look forward to the future and how our lives will develop. I hope I live up to my own expectations. I am so looking forward to trying.