The Evolution of Nana Wendy

If I'm honest, I've never been much of a baby person. Yes I admit, cuddling a newborn baby is a precious experience and they do smell delicious, but they also seem so fragile and they basically sleep for most of the time. If they are not sleeping, they are feeding or pooping or crying. There may be a few magical moments in between but mostly a little baby does what little babies do 24/7. I've always preferred the toddler stage. Toddlers are feisty, interactive, robust, cheeky and full of fun. They can chatter to you, understand you and they choose if they want to spend their time with you or not! You get to see their developing personalities and build a genuine relationship with them, where love and trust will be nurtured and grown into something genuine and beautiful.

My grandson Ted is getting close to his third birthday. He is now at the age where I can really enjoy him as a little person in his own right, and not just as an extension of his mum and dad. As a baby, I saw him as my son's child, delighting in the new role my son Joe was embarking on, which filled me with such immense pride. My own connection with Ted was through Joe, and amazing as that was, I felt slightly on the periphery, looking in on this miracle unfolding in my son's life. We live too far away to have been able to be a permanent feature in Ted's early days, so my grandparenting was done remotely rather than being hands on. Every time we visited, I'd look for a sign that he remembered me or knew who I was, forever hoping that the family bond would grow even in my absence.

I spent this weekend with my son Joe, his fiance Jade and my grandson Ted. We visited Alton Towers and had a fab time. Our favourite ride was the River Rapids, with all us in one of the round boats getting splashed and squirted as we whizzed through the water. It was so much fun watching Ted experience these things for the first time. On the Sunday morning I was woken up by Freddy and Ted bashing me with foam swords (little monkeys were being egged on by Joe of course!). Then at lunchtime, we all sat around the table to enjoy a family roast dinner together.

These are the days I have been waiting for, ever since the day I found out that I was going to be a gran. Ted is full on, energetic, boisterous and funny. He makes me laugh with his antics and leaves a trail of toddler-made destruction in his wake as he runs around, a little boy on a mission to explore, learn and play. He is everything I imagined and hoped my grandson could be. He may look just like his mum, but his personality is so much like his dad's in so many ways!

When he squeezes his chubby little hand into mine so we can walk along together, or when his little voice calls me Nana Wendy or he calls Ian 'Guitar Grandad', or when he says 'I love you', I just melt. He knows exactly who we all are. He enjoys being with us and his laughter and smiles are infectious. Ted told me stories, played lots of fighting games with his Daddy and his Uncle Freddy, enjoyed dressing up and having his face painted as a skeleton and generally made himself completely at home with us. He is comfortable here and he understands that we are family and we love him. This is how I dreamed grantparenthood would be and for Ted, he now knows and understands his place in our family, and realises just how adored he is.

I am honoured to be his Nana Wendy.

Happy Birthday to my Grandson Ted

It's hard to believe that it was a whole two years ago that I was waiting anxiously for a message from my son Joe, to tell us that his baby son had been born.  When a photograph finally arrived to my mobile I burst into tears of joy, pride and relief, knowing that Joe had become a daddy, and that mother and baby were doing well.  So started a brand new phase of my life, where I became a grandma to baby Ted, welcoming a brand new generation into our family.

Happy birthday to my cheeky, boisterous, sweet and funny little grandson Ted.  We love you xxx

And just because I love a bit of reflection and nostalgia, here is a photograph of my own little boy Joe on his second birthday in 1990, ready to dive into his Dennis the Menace birthday cake! 

A First Birthday Party

Today is my grandson Ted's first birthday.  My own son's little boy is a whole year old already.  It doesn't seem that long ago that I was waiting anxiously for the phone call that would let me know that my son had become a daddy.  Since then I have watched Joe become a wonderful father, which is something that makes me incredibly proud.

The milestone of Ted's first birthday has made me think of when Joe turned one.  My tiny baby boy whose journey into the world was so traumatic and distressing for both of us, went on to thrive.  By a year old he was a boisterous, mischievous and highly spirited little boy.  Traits that have stayed with him for the last 25 years!  

Joe's first birthday was a Garfield themed affair with everything coloured orange like Garfield the cat.  I made a Garfield shaped cake using a special tin and iced it with orange and brown buttercream.  I vividly remember doing it even though it was over two decades ago.  Everyone wore orange garlands around their necks and there were balloons and themed tableware.  A perfect day for my little man to mark his first birthday.

Here is Joe pictured with his lovely Nana on his first birthday back in 1989.

I hope that Joe makes some wonderful memories with his little boy today.  Memories that will last a lifetime.  The time spent with your children is just so precious. Thinking back on all the moments spent laughing, playing and having fun,  never fails to raise a smile. Life is so much richer because of the special moments that we spend with loved ones.

I almost got to host a birthday party for Ted this year, but sadly it never happened.  I'd baked and decorated the cake, bought the buffet food, invited the guests, decorated the house, had the "1" candle just waiting to be lit and blown out to make a wish- but unfortunately Joe had to cancel the visit at the last minute.  Leaving us with a birthday party all ready to go just without the guest of honour.

However, the party went ahead in Ted's absence and we had a wonderful time on his behalf.  Megan, my parents, my niece and her baby decided to still come.  We re-branded it as a 'Fake Christmas' party.  We all got to spend a lovely afternoon fussing over my gorgeous great-nephew instead of the birthday boy.  It was a shame not to have Joe and Ted there, but we will be seeing them at Christmas for some belated birthday hugs.

I hope Ted has a lovely day today being spoiled and having lots and lots of fun with his family.  Joe has had a bit of a tough time lately, following a nasty car crash on the M1 a couple of weeks ago. I hope that spending today with his little boy will be just the tonic he needs to get back to his old self again.  Nothing is as important as family.  The family that you choose to have around you, those who make life worth living, bringing love, laughter and happiness.  Making you the best version of yourself that you can be.  That is the greatest thing in the whole world.

Happy Birthday Ted xxx

Grandparenting for Beginners

I never really appreciated how it would feel to become a grandparent.  Having had my first born son as a 19 year old, it was always on the cards that I would be a young granny.  At 43 I have found myself taking my role in the generation shift that occurred following the birth of baby Ted.

I never doubted that my son Joe would be a wonderful dad.  He has been an amazing big brother to his four siblings, the youngest of whom is three year old Freddy.  He has grown up with little people around him and has always demonstrated the skills necessary to be a dad himself one day.  So when I got the phone call telling me that his girlfriend was pregnant, I had no concerns about his ability to care for and support his new family.

Throughout the pregnancy I shared Joe's thoughts, dreams, hopes and fears.  I was thrilled for him, knowing he was going to experience the greatest love of his life.  He didn't understand this until Ted was born.  Understanding that feeling made him understand my love for him.  A whole host of puzzle pieces fell into place, consolidating the relationship we had.  I felt such utter pride in my son knowing that he had reached this point in his life and was facing this new responsibilty with a maturity and enthusiasm that was humbling.

But what about me?  What about my new role, my new responsibilities?

Meeting that baby boy was magical.  When you have your own child you are so wrapped up in the enormity of being a parent that it consumes you.  As a grandparent, you are a step away from that.  You get to look at that child and see his place in the greater picture.  You look at that beautiful face and see reflections of the generations that have come before.  You feel wonder at the emergence of a brand new generation and feel the boundaries of your genetic immortality push further outwards.

I live two hours away from my grandson.  I don't get to see him very often, but I know he is there thriving, growing, becoming who he is destined to be.  I feel his presence in my life, as I do my older children who are no longer living here with me.  They are all a part of me.  I am a part of them.  Physical distance is never a barrier to love.

I wonder if he will 'know' me, recognise his paternal family.  See himself in our faces, our mannerisms, our quirks.  Will our morals, values and beliefs influence him, help shape his future? Will he love us?  

One thing is for certain though, my son's child is a precious gift to our family.  He has been born surrounded by loving great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, uncles and aunties.  We all have his best interests at heart and will do all we can to give this little boy the best start in life.  He is pathing the way to the future for our families.

I know that I will miss out on seeing much of my grandson's day to day life.  I know he now smiles and kicks his legs around as he watches Ben on Holly on TV.  I know he wakes up at 6am and goes to his daddy for a cuddle which makes daddy so happy before he goes to work.  I know he sits with his dad while he plays his online games, and daddy secretly hopes he will grow up to be a games geek too!  Although I don't witness these things first hand, I hear about them and share in the pleasure of my grandson's development.  I know the joy that Joe is experiencing being Ted's dad.  

I was worried before he was born that I would somehow feel jealous of his maternal grandmother who gets to see him everyday.  She lives close by and is very close to her daughter so it is only natural that she will get the lion's share of time with our grandson. She was there when he was born and is very involved in his life.  Instead, I am so glad he will have a close relationship with her, someone he can rely on, be loved by and trust.  He is a lucky lad.

The relationship he has with me will inevitably be very different.  I will be the one he sees once a month, which is how often we try to get down there.  I won't be involved in discipline, routines or everyday things as a rule.  I will however be there for the fun stuff, outings, meals out, special days and holidays.  Hopefully I will have a role in his life that brings a bit of extra colour and an opportunity to do things our way. Every moment will be cherished, that's for sure!

Grandparenting is definitely going to be a learning curve.  Learning my place, my responsibilities and my role in this little person's life.  Knowing when not to overstep the mark.  Knowing when to speak out and when to stay silent.  Hoping that this baby boy will love me and make memories with me, like my children have been privileged to do with my parents. I will  be there for him, and any future grandchildren that I am blessed with,  in any capacity that I am needed.  I feel honoured to have this opportunity and look forward to the future and how our lives will develop. I hope I live up to my own expectations. I am so looking forward to trying. 

Grandad...I Love You!

Sometimes you take a photograph that simply sums up a relationship between two people.  I took this photograph of Freddy with his Grandad and it epitomizes what they mean to each other.  Freddy adores his Grandad and wanted to walk alongside him, helping him with his stick.  He looks so proud with his Grandad who was chatting to him as they walked.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for my dad to have a toddler 'helping', but these moments are priceless to him.  They have a wonderful relationship filled with warmth, laughter and fun. I hope that my future grandchildren love me as much as my children love my parents!

Grandad and Grandson x

This is my entry into the Hello Canvas competition over at All Baby Advice.  Follow the link to find out how you can win a 28" canvas of your favourite photograph.

Before and After...The Gallery

This week's theme was to recreate an old photograph.  I immediately thought of a pair of photos I already had in my collection which would fit the theme perfectly.  In July 2009, I gave birth to my little boy Freddy.  Introducing him to his Grandad was a very emotional experience.  He'd cradle his newborn grandson in his arms and look down with a mixture of love and pride as he studied the as yet unknown face, taking in every feature.  This year in June 2010, my sister gave birth to her baby boy Dylan.  Again Grandad looked at the latest fruit from his family tree in the exact same way.  See for yourself...