Blogging...The New Self-Help

Yesterday I was in a bleurgh mood writing my weekly Mumentum post.  The words just spewed out of me as I started writing and before I knew it I'd posted a miserable account of my week.  It wasn't intentional or planned, it just happened as I tried to find something to share with the ladies who have been a part of my slimming journey thus far.  I felt so low and shrouded with negativity.

After I posted it, something happened.  It was as if my black cloud lifted and the darkness that had been totally enveloping me dissolved away into a greyish half light (much easier to cope with than the treacle that I'd been trying to swim in!)  I cooked a meal for the first time in ages...a roast dinner with a mushroom bake.  I also made Freddy the birthday cake I hadn't been motivated enough to do last week.  I made a chocolate fudge butterfly (or butterbye as Fred calls them...he actually calls every insect a Butterbye.  What a beautiful way to observe the world, seeing dirty great blue bottles in the same way as a beautiful Red Admiral!)

I enjoyed everything I'd made and didn't feel an ounce of guilt eating my baby boy's birthday cake.  Tonight I made a spinach and mushroom pie and it was pretty damn good!  I found joy in food again.

The process of writing about my feelings rather than internalising them is so liberating.  Putting them in some sort of order and making them physical is so cathartic.  Sending them out into the ether is so symbolic.  It made such sense once I started to think about how I was feeling.  My blog is like my therapy.  I don't think I could ever explain myself to another person.  I adopt the "I'm fine!" approach to questioning.  It's harder to vocalise your problems into spoken words.  I prefer the more logical, less emotive medium of the written word. Thoughts flow out and the unconscious part of my psyche finds it voice.

This has just reminded me why I blog.  Exorcising demons that would otherwise have no outlet for release is such a powerful benefit of me having my little piece of cyberspace to myself.  It allows me to assess objectively how I'm feeling and look at myself as if I were on the outside looking in.  At my lowest I feel like a part of me is slipping away, tethered only by a gossamer thread which could be be severed at any moment.  Sometimes I worry that if it does stretch too far away from me I won't ever get it back and I'll be stuck in my darkness with a part of me lost forever.  Thankfully I've managed to reel myself back in every time and the relief is palpable when the light starts to shine inside me again.

I had some amazing comments from people I have come to regard as friends. The support is truly wonderful and uplifting.  I thank each and every person who cares.  It is another benefit of this community.  Accepting face to face sympathy is something I find quite uncomfortable, but reading a thoughtful comment is heart warming.

So next time the ugly subject of stats, rankings, pageviews or Klout scores raises its head, I will remember what really matters.  It's the words that count.  It's the freedom, the space and the liberating nature of blogging that motivates me.  This is my internet home and I'm happy to be here.

How To Be A Parent Champion

"I believe the children are our future,

Teach them well and let them lead the way."

The words of 'The Greatest Love Of All' resonate deeply.  Our children will become tomorrow's adults and with the right experiences they can go on to do great things.  It is our responsibility as parents to ensure we do our best to help our children achieve their full potential.

I consider myself very fortunate I have raised Joe who is now 22, in a committed relationship, doing well in the workplace and living an independent and rewarding life, whilst still maintaining a wonderful relationship with me, his dad and siblings.  Megan is 19 and is thriving in her second year of university.  Our open, honest relationship has helped her through some personal problems where she has emerged stronger, wiser and empowered.  Teenager Ella is a delight to live with.  She is growing up knowing that we respect her and by allowing her a degree of self-regulation she doesn't have to push boundaries to test us.  Kizzy is 8 and is confident, secure and loving.  Freddy is a wilful toddler who is energetically learning about his environment and his place in it.  I've never really had any real parenting issues.  I've enjoyed all the stages from newborn to adult, but there are always challenges along the way.  Adopting strategies to smooth the way and help the family grow together is vital and there are always new techniques to learn.

Alan Wilson's book "How to be a Parent Champion and Add Magic to your Family" is a new book on the market.  It is not your typical parenting book nor is it a typical self-help book.  Through a series of personal development exercises you can learn to be happy and comfortable in yourself, become a better parent and add magic to your family, reclaiming your life along the way.  It also offers free ongoing support within a community of like-minded parents.

It helps us to see our children from a different perspective, allowing us to better communicate, cope with challenges and parent naturally.  It teaches us ways to become our most powerful self, giving us a deeper connection with our children and adding magic to our family.

When times are hard, our self-esteem can falter.  This book offers new tools and techniques to help us take a new approach to life.  This can impact upon family relationships, nurturing respect and opening the channels of communication.  The four main tools used are:

• Levels of listening and the energetic connection
• The power of thought
• The success diary
• SMART goals

We need to find our own way and learn to trust our instincts.  Wilson looks at life-coaching and emotional literacy (the ability to understand, empathize and express emotions) to assist us in our own personal development, allowing us to identify the best way forward.

The book contains photocopiable pages where parents can make note of their goals, aspirations and priorities.  I loved the "Wheel of Life" which allows us to look at eight areas of life that are most important, and find ways to enhance these areas and coming up with one thing that could improve them right now. We can make SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed).  When we implement these exercises and start to see improvements in our own life, the positivity impacts on the whole family.  We can learn to listen to our children, make them feel special and valued and help them to achieve their potential giving support, respect and appreciation.  We are encouraged to celebrate our successes and share our achievements as a family.

We can have fun, feel good and share lots of love and laughter!

This book definitely had some really interesting exercises that allowed me and my children to look at our goals, dreams and values.  We don't have any specific problems that needed overcoming, but the exercises were still valuable, reminding us all of areas where we can make personal improvements.  I was reminded to listen more and ask enquiring questions allowing my younger daughter to fully express herself.   There are always ways to improve our self-esteem and become more positive, which allows us to achieve our potential.  Nowhere is this more important than with our children, where the changes can be magical.  The exercises are really hands on and easy to follow.  They allow us to evaluate our activities and celebrate our successes.  The book is punctuated with inspirational quotes and readings.  I leave you with my favourite.

"We are each of us angels with one wing.  And we can fly only by embracing each other."

Luciano de Crescenzo

"How To Be A Parent Champion" is available from Amazon for £9.99.

*We received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review but the opinions expressed are our own.*