Good-Bye my Friend xxx

Yesterday I heard some really sad news.  A school friend of mine had died.  He was 41 years old, a dad to two children, a Scout leader and a really nice bloke.  He died suddenly, in an as yet unexplained way.  This was such a shock to me.

We went to school together throughout the primary and secondary years.  We were good friends. He took me to my first concert that I went to (without my big sister looking after me).  We spent the day in London before going to Hammersmith Odeon to watch Marillion's Fugazi Tour.  We hung out together as teenagers going to the pub, to parties or just hanging out at friends' houses.  (Goodness knows where their parents were when we took over their living rooms.  It never occurred to me then, but now I'm puzzled?!)  Pete was always really protective of me.  We were close.

We lost touch post A'Levels as I became a mother and moved away from our hometown of Slough.  Years later, via the wonders of Friends Reunited, we got back into contact and exchanged lengthy emails filling each other in on the missing ten years, marriage, kids, jobs.  Then as Facebook became the communication media of choice, we commented on each others' photos and statuses.  His profile pic was a familiar icon in my Newsfeed.

His Facebook wall says that "Pete is attending 2013".  He joined that group showing his optimistic belief that the world won't end in 2012 whatever the Aztecs believed!  That made me cry.  He had posted on the Scout's Facebook wall to remind the boys to bring waterproofs because the weather this weekend was set to be atrocious.  He had just found out which celebrities shared his birthday.

Now suddenly he's gone.

Hearing news like this is so sobering.  It puts everything into perspective in your life.  It makes you appreciate everything you have, everyone you love.  It makes you hug your loved ones a little tighter.  It makes you promise yourself that you will overhaul your diet, your lifestyle and your fitness levels.  It reminds you just how precious life is.

So Rest in Peace my friend.  I'll listen to some Marillion in your honour and smile at our shared memories. And I'll yet again remind myself of the fragility of life so I live each day to its fullest potential and try to be the best person I can be.

Still missing you Carol xxx

Today would have been my sister Carol's 51st birthday.  She'd be preparing for an amazing party.  She loved this time of year.  Her birthday, Halloween and the promise of Christmas just around the corner meant she was in her element.  Dressing up, stringing decorations in the trees in her front garden, socialising, parties, family.  She was the best, most imaginative host ever.  She was fun, caring, hilariously funny, a little outrageous, giving, loving...the most brilliant person I've ever known.  I thank the Lord that I was blessed to have her as my big sister.  She inspired me, I aspired to be like her, I adored her.  She was a huge presence in my life, which is why even now 15 years after her death, I still miss her everyday.

At just 36 years old, my sister was cruelly taken away from us.  Six years earlier she had been diagnosed and treated for skin cancer.  The medical profession had not done enough and the malignancy found its way into her lymphatic system.  It was a fight that she could not win.  It devastated us. 

Sometimes I still find myself thinking "I'll phone Carol to tell her that."  I still remember her phone number as if it was just yesterday that she was my confidante, on hand to listen to her younger sisters trials and tribulations.  She was always the first person I turned to. Her dry sense of humour would always lighten up any situation. She knew how to handle things, how to turn situations around.  She made you feel special...that was her gift.

Carol never lived to know who the Spice Girls were.  Never read Harry Potter.  Never saw Toy Story.  She never saw the explosion of the internet.  How she would have loved Facebook and Blogging!  She'd have embraced the Social Media and I would have loved having her in my virtual world.  She would have adored Sky +.  Mobile phones with cameras and videoing capabilities.  Reality TV.  3D horror films at the cinema.  Laptops.  Pixar films.  Sat Nav's. Digital radio. MP3's. 

She never got to be there to see her children grow up into the beautiful, amazing adults they have become.  I am so proud of my nephew and niece and they have so much of their mother in them, it is a comfort and an honour to have them in our lives.  My third child was born six months after my sister died.  Carol knew I was pregnant, I told her the day before she died that I would give my baby her name.  My daughter Ella Carol Ann wears her middle names with pride, honouring the auntie she never got to meet.  We keep Carol's memory alive with the handful of old family videos and photos we are lucky enough to have.  We have stories...so many funny stories!  Carol lives on in our hearts and the four nieces and two nephews who will never know their Auntie in person, will know about the wonderful human being who will always be a part of our family.

Cancer devastates families.  It is responsible for 1 in 4 deaths in the UK.  420 deaths a minute are attributed to cancer, that is one death every four minutes.  Every number in these statistics is a real person, someone's loved one, someone who will be missed everyday.  Someone like my amazing sister Carol. 

Being fortunate enough to be finalists in the VW competition means we can support Cancer Research UK with a financial donation.  We are exteremely honoured to be able to donate £500 to this worthy cause.