Tonight's the Night! Preparing for My Date

The time has come for me to put on my glad rags and step outside of my comfort zone - namely my sofa, PJs, slanket, TV and a glass of red - to embark on a romance rekindling date with my husband tonight.  We enjoy getting takeaways, but very rarely eat out together.  Candlelit dinners for two play second fiddle to dinner in front of the TV for five.

That was until Tots 100 and Head and Shoulders very kindly offered me the chance to go on a date with my husband!  I've received a lovely pamper hamper full of girly goodies and I've had a transatlantic phone call with a love guru to give me some advice on how to keep the fires burning! The budget has been taken care of, now all that is left to do is the date night itself!

So tonight, Ian and I are going to be terribly grown-up and enjoy a intimate date consisting of romantic dinner followed by drinks. Babysitters and a taxi are extravagances that have been taken care of, making it easier to slip into our dating personas without worrying about kids or driving.  Conversation is being strictly monitored so it doesn't slip into our go-to chats about work or wondering about what the kids are doing while we're away.

Instead of my usual jeans and boots, there will be high heels and pretty clothes.  And make-up!!  With Head and Shoulders apple scented hair being flicked seductively, I will set out to woo my man all over again!

With Matthew Hussey's relationship advice under my belt, I'll be ready with an unexpected compliment and a kiss filled with promise.  Ian won't know what hit him!

So, wish me luck!  I'll let you know how we get on.

There will be absolutely NO Tweeting or Facebook status updates during the date...but we might take the odd selfie!  That's allowed right??

This was us many years ago enjoying a smoochy moment...I am ready to harness my inner 20-something-year-old and get my smooch on again.  Twenty years and five kids together doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy the odd sneaky date night, some mildly inappropriate PDAs and a self-indulgent few hours of quality us-time now and again!

For some top dating tips take a look at this Good Read from Tots 100.

Do You Do Date Nights?

Ian and I have been married for over sixteen years and together as a couple for over twenty years.  Before getting together officially at 23, we were very close friends and had been boyfriend and girlfriend for a year when we were about fifteen.  So we have had a long relationship, spanning three decades!  We are clearly absolutely and undoubtedly meant to be together.

When we got together at 23, I had two children which meant that we weren't able to 'date' with any wild abandon, spontaneity or freedom, so we quickly fell into enjoying time together at home and as a family. We skipped the bit where you go out wining, dining, clubbing or socialising.  It just didn't happen.  And as we went on to have three more children, we simply have never had the freedom or motivation to revisit the whole date night thing.  If we ever had the opportunity to go out, I always feel guilty about leaving the older kids babysitting and rush back home feeling stressed.  I think I've become a date-ophobe!!

Now Freddy is at school I don't think I can use him as an excuse to not go out once in a while.  He isn't a baby anymore.  I need to look at myself and at my relationship and give me and Ian the chance to rediscover each other.  I want to dress up to impress him and present myself as a woman who wants to spend some quality time together with her man away from the routine and comfort of home and family.  We need to start dating and get into the habit of doing things for ourselves as a couple.  Enjoying each others' company as grown ups and not just spending the evening discussing the kids and wondering if they are coping without us (which of course they will be, because they are great kids who are very competent...so why do I worry so much?)

Our third child is due to fly the coop next year, embarking on a life as a university student.  In a blink of an eye, the two youngest will be making lives of their own, going out, socialising and not needing to be 'mummied' 24/7 anymore.  There will come a point when it is just me and Ian...for the first time ever in our relationship.  We need to start building the foundations for this time in our lives, or there is a distinct danger of me being one of those mums who suffers from empty nest syndrome so badly that she ends up stalking her children and camping out on their doorsteps just to feel fulfilled again.  I need to redefine myself as a woman and not just as a mother, although being a mother to my five wonderful children is the role that I am most proud of and will always be a role that I cherish.

I was recently approached by Head and Shoulders offering me an opportunity to talk to a life coach, receive some pampering products and go on a date.  I jumped at the chance!  It sounds like exactly the sort of thing I need to break my non-dating cycle.  I commit myself 100% to blog challenges and this would provide the impetus needed to get pampered, glammed up, cast off my mummy guilt and enjoy a date with the man I love.  It could be the start of something good!

So, watch this space, because a new confident woman ready to hit the town with her husband, is about to emerge.  I'm sure that taking part in this challenge will give my confidence as well as my relationship a great boost and set us off on a new and exciting phase of our life!

The Dating Game

I consider myself to be incredibly fortunate to be married to a wonderful man who I am still very much in love with, even after 15 years of marriage and five kids!  But it hasn't always been like that.  Before getting together with my husband I had some seriously bad relationships!

Me and Ian

For instance there was the punk with the green mohican who cheated on me with my best friend.  There was the Italian whose family refused to acknowledge me because I wasn't Catholic.  Or how about the Porsche driving salesman who loved himself way more than he loved me.  Then there was the short fused football fan who nearly threw me out when England lost a penalty shoot out in the World Cup.  Or the blind date who totally confirmed the stereotype of accountants being boring despite trying to tell me he was actually a party animal!  Looking back I really do wonder what I was thinking when I got together with some of the men I ended up with.     But I don't regret a single one as they have all helped me become the person I am today.  Plus they REALLY make me appreciate Ian!

The dating game can be quite a minefield. It doesn't always turn out well...you only have to look at Romeo and Juliet or anyone who gets together on Eastenders to see that.  But, the benefits of finding your perfect partner really do outweigh the negatives.  Someone to share your life with, really is an amazing feeling.  Having them on speed dial just so you can phone them to hear their voice.  Leaving little notes in their jacket pocket for them to find later.  Or just knowing that you have someone to snuggle up with to watch Celebrity Big Brother on a cold January evening!

I have always believed there is someone out there for everyone, you just have to find them.  With the power of the internet, there are more opportunities than ever for single people to find their perfect partners whatever their age or situation.  Online Dating Sites are now accepted as a great way to meet new people, get out there and share interests.  Wherever you are in the country, Bristol, Bath, Barnet or Birmingham dating has never been easier.  As long as you are aware of the obvious pitfalls such as stranger danger and exercise caution, you could open the door to new adventures and new people!

*This is a featured post for DatingAgency.com which specialises in internet dating for the over 40s and initial membership is free!  It is safe and secure, easy to use with UK phone support and personalised recommendations.*