The lovely Heather over at Stay at Home Mum Loving It has been kind enough *coughs* to tag me to receive this most honourable of honours...it is indeed "Memetastic"!
Like her, I'm going for the copy and paste route (but I'm censoring the really rude words in case my 8 year old reads her mummy's blog! Please don't judge me!)
1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!
2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some s**t up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying b******s! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.
3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.
4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.
5. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please come back here and link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes.
So, forearmed with that rather forceful list of instructions, I have no choice but to participate or incur the wrath of the creator of the Memetastic Award. So I give to you five facts...only one of which true...feel free to leave a comment...I'd love to know what you think is true!
1: I am a huge animal lover and we have three cats, four guinea pigs, eight goldfish and a snake called Courtney. I'm hoping to add a puppy to the family when Freddy is a bit bigger. I want to name it Buster after the Labrador I used to have as a little girl.
2: I have five tattoos...one bracelet on my wrist, a dragon on the small of my back, five entwined love hearts on the back of my neck, a tribal design on my thigh and a butterfly on my ankle. Each one commemorates special events in my life.
3: I am tee-total because on New Year's Eve three years ago I drank so much bacardi that I ended up snogging a 19 year old friend of my niece and put a condom on my head and posed for photos. The ensuing alcohol poisoning rendered me bedridden for three days. I vowed I'd never drink again!
4: I have a collection of pigs. China pigs, plastic pigs, pigs on tea towels, pig T-Shirts, pig jewellery, pig crockery, pig topiary and most recently a stuffed leather pig door stop. They are so cute. I even own the Nat West piggy banks that I collected as a child for saving at the bank. That was the start of my collection...I was hooked from that point :)
5: I was a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire in 2003. I didn't make it into the chair because I failed to put the order of four Dustin Hoffman films in chronological order quickly enough. The woman who did went on to win £64,000...grr could've been mine!
Now to tag some other lovelies and force them to bare facedly lie in a public forum. Ooh we are naughty!!!
Qwerty Mum
Not Met Megan
Bloggomy
Carole Finds her Wings