I can imagine myself in a draughty community centre hall. A circle of chairs in the centre of the room are filled with nervous, fidgety people avoiding eye contact with each other, staring at the floor between their shuffling feet. Slowly I stand up and take a deep breath as I announce "My name is Wendy and I'm an addict." The ripple of applause rewards my admission and puts me on the path to recovery.
But what is the addiction I am confessing to? I've battled my demons. I no longer drink and have been riding the wagon of sobriety for over 4 years. I haven't smoked since I was a nightclubbing teenager, back in the days when it was acceptable to wave a lit cigarette around on a crowded dance floor, risking the ignition of the alarming quantity of flammable hairspray that was synonymous with '80s hairdos. I have even conquered the binge eating, yo-yo dieting that has plagued my adult life. As for sex addiction? Really, who has the time for that! Drugs?? Hell I don't even drink caffeine and I totally hate taking so much as an aspirin. However, I do have a dirty secret....
I am an absolute unstoppable force to be reckoned with when faced with a bargain. I'm not talking 50% off some designer handbag, or even the half price sale at Next. I'm talking bargain basement, post seasonal goodies sold at silly prices. Things I don't need or even want. Sometimes I don't even use them...but I MUST have them!
Today I went shopping and this is just some of the haul I returned with....
Halloween goodies galore...art sets, costumes, cups, plates, jugs, goblets, hats, masks, gloves, candle holders, scene setters, decorations, toys...all sorts of nonsense! I just can't turn my back on the shelves of unbought Halloween/Easter/Christmas fayre that appears in the days following these events. My garage is overflowing with things bought over the years but I can't help adding to my collection!
My eldest daughter despairs as I fill my trolley with armfuls of nonsense...but I can't help it. It calls to me to give it a home. Besides...who could resist buying Make Your Own Halloween Craft sets reduced from £2 to 8p!! I couldn't...I bought 20!! And how about an inflatable axe for £1?! I need one of those...honestly. The monster windsocks for 35p were just too tempting...I got one of each design. And you can never have too many spider napkins for 15p a pack.
So Wilkinson, Asda and Morisson's will find their shelves significantly emptier after my visit today. But as a result my overcrowded garage has now got to house 4 huge bags of Halloween nonsense which I hope I remember to dig out to use next October! Good job we love Horror stuff...maybe Fred can have a Monster Party for his 3rd birthday next year! And who said that tinsel with skulls and spiders in it can't be used for Christmas??
At the end of the day, my obsession for buying mad novelty items for rock bottom prices isn't that awful. I just thank my lucky stars however that my compulsion for purchasing does not extend to anything costing more than a couple of quid. If I was a shopaholic with a passion for fashion and a desire for shoes and handbags, then I'd really be in trouble! My entire stash today did not equate to more than the price of a pair of designer shoelaces...and they are going to bring much more fun!