My daughter will be nineteen years old on Wednesday November 10th. I was going to write her a post, telling the world how amazing she is. She is a strong young woman with a maturity that belies her years. She is stunning with the most amazing pale green eyes I've ever seen. She is intelligent and diligent and a perfectionist. She is loving, kind to old people and small children yet still incredibly feisty. She has an uncanny knack of being a magnet for accidents...she'll walk into a doorframe, fall down a hole or drop a can of Rubicon into her computer. I adore her.
However, tonight my little girl phoned me up in tears. Her boyfriend of over a year finished with her. He had had one of those conflicts that immature young men get...I love you, but I'm scared of the committment that is developing between us, so I'm ducking out now. He'd flitted in and out of this state of confusion for a few weeks and to be honest I saw it coming. So it wasn't a surprise to hear that he had finally gone.
Now this blog isn't about what happened or about allocating blame or saying that he was not worthy of my beautiful daughter. It's about what happens now! True to form, Daddy has jumped in the car and is driving to Manchester as I write, to bring his little girl home back into the bosom of her family which is where she needs to be right now. I will need to pull together all my own past experiences of heartache. I remember that pain, the rawness of a broken heart. But experience has taught me that it's an essential part of life's journey. Life is a richly woven tapestry and every thread, be it good or bad, helps shape and colour it. Everytime a chapter ends, it presents an opportunity for change. It is a time for self-reflection and a chance to be a little indulgent, asking yourself what it is you want, without having to consider another person's wants or needs. I hope that my amazing daughter realises that she is not at fault. I hope she can look back at her relationship and smile, realising that it has taught her things about herself that she will be able to take on into the next phase of her life. I want her to move on and grow, keeping her dignity and her integrity intact. One day she will reflect on this part of her life and see it within the context of the bigger picture. Her strength will see her through and she will become a better person because of it, of that I am sure.
So when my teary eyed daughter arrives home tonight, I will hold her in my arms and let her cry. Then I'll share my wisdom with her. She is at a crossroads and the direction she chooses now will impact on her future....it's a whole new beginning. And her family will be right behind her. xxx